Email Between Friends

This first poem is what I received from an arch-Republican (who probably pays less than 13.9% tax) who loved to dish it out for the last 4 years, sending me dire warnings about fake birth certificates, Muslim prayer rugs in the white house, socialism, and runaway spending — but now wants to stifle any post-election glee by the Dems. The second verse is my response.

To all my Democratic friends:

The election is over,
the talking is done.
My party lost,
your party won.
So let us be friends,
let arguments pass.
I’ll hug my elephant,
you kiss your ass.

A long suffering Democrat responds:

Oh if only it were so easy!
My pampered, fat cat friend.
The election is surely over,
But the reckoning must now begin.

The bigoted lies and slander
Of the Fox “news” propaganda machine
Must one by one be dismantled
Before the slate can begin to be wiped clean

You called him a Muslim socialist,
Said he was born on a foreign shore,
Then blamed him for job loss and deficits,
Caused while your crowd was minding the store.

When you saw your game wasn’t working,
that the public was unwilling to be fooled again,
You tried to buy,even steal, the election,
Telling your candidate to say anything to win.

Karl Rove and his Super-PAC backers
Tried to suppress the right to vote
But the courts quickly declared unlawful
The new laws your puppet politicians wrote.

So now that the votes have been counted,
Your hundreds of millions went for naught
Your pawns and plans were defeated,
Leaving you stunned the election couldn’t be bought.

So not so fast, Mr. One-tenth-of-one-percenter!
The 99 will not begin to relax
Until we make sure we’ve served you
With a bill for your fair share of tax!

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Image: promotional photo from The Sawhorse Ranch (please visit).

Hamp Skelton

Hamp Skelton is an Austin, Texas, lawyer who grew up in Atlanta.

4 Comments
  1. I still think the fat cats should be thanked for whatever they spent and didn’t just pass around to some crony’s account.
    One lesson we can take away, again, is that, in politics, the relationship between quality and cost is inverse.

  2. Not to be a critic but why not: The Republican poem, for all it’s cant and idiocy, is short, succinct, and has a catchy meter. The Democrat poem is full of smarm, is clumsy, unimaginative with a whiff of desperation and whinyness about it. It also doesn’t follow a tidy meter, although it pretends to. And I’m a Democrat.

  3. To the long suffering democrat, I haven’t the ambition to create a poem for you but I wish you would put as much time into researching issues as you do writing silly prose. It wasn’t a game. Many lost their jobs. But the pretend leader bragged about his ability to force insurance companies to insure a handful of people who the wouldn’t insure before. He was so focused on that one thing that he didn’t care how it affected the other hundreds of millions. He was more concerned about his legacy, words out of his own mouth, than what he was doing to the country. His legacy is set in stone! He will go down in history as the first hyphenated American president, the most expensive president, the laziest president, the most vacationing president, and the worst president in American history.

    1. Lee Leslie

      I appreciate your kindness. One quick fact check: the Congressional Budget Office projects the ten-year savings of the Affordable Care Act at $1.2 trillion (https://www.cbo.gov/sites/default/files/cbofiles/attachments/49973-Updated_Budget_Projections.pdf). That is the amount of money that will have to be cut from spending or come from increased taxes or deficit to “repeal and replace.”

      Regarding vacation days, I offer a graphic from CBS.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1acdd66615adfadf637eb76df06a506b86a5edef0605c3098319c457c226d67a.jpg

      Best of luck. 72 days left.

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