Remember that part of the Bible where Jesus says, “Blessed are the people who use violence to oppose health care policies they don’t like”? No? Well, obviously, you haven’t being paying attention, sinner.
Via Right Wing Watch, meet Bishop R. Walker Nickless, of the Sioux City, Iowa diocese, who’s here to set you straight:
You know, the power of evil is going to try any way that it can to get a hook into our world and the values that we hold as so dear and so important to us believing people. And the power of evil—the devil—can certainly look—is looking everywhere to find places where they can—where the power of evil can make a difference. To tear us apart, to get us to just look at the worldly values and forget about—you know, that there’s something more important than the values of the world. And that’s why we’ve got to stand up and violently oppose this. We cannot let darkness overshadow us. We’ve got to be men and women who proclaim the light, and we’ve got to tell the truth, and we’ve got to be transparent, and we’ve got to say that government cannot do this to us.
So, church-goers, while you may have been under the mistaken impression that Jesus was all about peace and caring for the least among us and touchy-feely hippy stuff like that, turns out what he meant was that if you don’t want other people doing things that you think are icky—like, you know, having sex with other consenting adults, as opposed to children—lock and load in the name of the lord!