9-9-9=0

Oh, Herman, we hardly knew ye.

In the most entertaining “I’m quitting” press conference since half-term Gov. Sarah Palin quit her job because only dead fish go with the flow, Herman Cain announced he’s dropping out of the race to spend more time sleeping on the couch.

It was fun while it lasted though, wasn’t it? So many fond memories. Herman’s “Imagine there’s no pizza” video. His “joke” about electrocuting immigrants who try to cross the border. His insistence that we can’t invade countries that have mountains. His confusion about Libya. His confusion about China. His confusion about what language is spoken in Cuba. (Hint: It’s not Cuban.) His ever-changing stories about the women who come up to his chin. His secret friendship with his special lady friend. And, of course, his SimCity-inspired tax plan for America.

So, what was your favorite Cain moment?

10:46 AM PT (from Daily Kos senior policy editor Jed Lewison): Cain says his suspension is “Plan B.” Something tells me he’s quite familiar with Plan B…

10:47 AM PT (Jed Lewison): Cain says “Plan B” is that he will “continue to be a voice for the people. That’s why today we are launch thecainsolutions.com.” He says he “will still be promoting the biggest change and transfer of power out of” DC since America’s founding … 9-9-9.

10:49 AM PT (Jed Lewison): Cain says “I will be making an endorsement in the near future,” but doesn’t say who it will be other than that it won’t be President Obama. Duh.

10:52 AM PT (Jed Lewison): I wonder who Cain will endorse? I suspect he wants to help Romney, given his past history, but I also can’t imagine he’d endorse Romney because his supports don’t like Romney. Someone who can pull support from Newt Gingrich without taking much from Mitt Romney … maybe Rick Santorum or Michele Bachmann?

 

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Editor's Note: This article was originally published December 3, 2011, at Daily Kos. Photo by Gage Skidmore via his Flickr photostream, used with Creative Commons 2.0 License.
Kaili Joy Gray

Kaili Joy Gray

Kaili Joy Gray was born in 1978 in Santa Barbara. She worked on her first political campaign at six years old, as a doorknocker for her father’s City Council bid. Her first political act came in fifth grade when she successfully led a protest against the teacher for not calling on girls often enough. A graduate of UC Santa Cruz with a degree in women’s studies and a dean’s award in economics, her proudest academic achievement is that the state of California paid her to run her yap as the Opinion-Page Editor for City College. Kaili spent a year living in Virginia, where she learned that the most important issue in a gubernatorial race is who loves the death penalty more, and then lived in Washington, where she enjoyed the rain thirteen months a year. She now happily resides in the Bay Area, where the politics and the weather are pretty much perfect.

4 Comments
  1. Have no fear Kaili …
    Though the stupidity of “Cain and Palin” (now there’s a ticket I bet “Cain could get behind”) is now gone, fortunately there are plenty of GOP jokes left.
    Perry, though his campaign over, is way too dim to realize it. Ron Paul holds down the Bizarro World wing of
    the party, and then we’ve got Bachman doing “crazy” for us.
    Jon Huntsman and Insainitorium are just along for the ride, desperately trying to look important.
    Which leaves the two biggest jokes front and center.
    First there’s Romney, the dude that strapped the family dog to the top of the car to begin the annual 12 hour family road trip from Boston to their summer home in Ontario … Com’on, unless you are a member of PETA that’s pretty funny.
    Romany, a political chameleon who has held every side of every political position from abortion to health care all the while wearing the magic Mormon underwear of faith struggles for acceptance of the evangelicals (another bunch of intellectual giants.) Mitt’s politics are as plastic as his Ken doll good looks. And of course we have Georgia’s own son of the south, the draft dodging and serial adulterer Newt Gingrich. A vocal supporter of the war, his rational for not attending was “Part of the question I had to ask myself was what difference I would have made.” – his words not mine. Now, I’m not sure what the 58,000 U.S. soldiers that died in the war would think about that statement but on some level I would have to agree with Newt. He hasn’t made a difference and I strongly doubt that there are many who would want to share a foxhole with a “Newt” watching yor back.

    But I’ve hear Newt not only has some novel child labor initiatives that will put America back on its feet again, but has accepted Trump’s debate invitation. So let’s sit back and watch “the Donald” moderate the next … “Last Comic Standing.”

  2. Okay, it is official. The first paragraph of this story gets “Lede of the Year” grand prize. In fact, if LTD wants to run an end-of-year awards story, I hereby nominate yours.
    Thanks for the Sunday morning laugh, Kaili.

  3. Well, I guess whoever he endorses will be one of the nabobs who are at this moment cozying up to a panel of right wing ayatollahs (actually, 3 GOP Attorneys General) who are administering an exhausting test of ideological purity to each candidate. Santorum passed the 30 second cognitive dissonance test when he described how he would not enforce any law that had not been reauthorized each year by Congress, shortly before he said that Obama was imperiling the nation by not enforcing the Defense of Marriage Act. The Constituition is crystal clear, folks, don’t y’all mess it up by trying to figure it out.

  4. Sorry. That’s “Constitution”, not “Constituition”, which would imply a guaranteed right to receive an education. Which I believe is a social necessity.

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