mad hatter starring Tiger WoodsPatent Office, may we help you?

Yes, I’d like to register a meme, but perhaps I am in the wrong place.

Go on.

Well, I might think I need to be at the Copyright Office.

Wait a minute, you might think or you think you might?

Does it matter?

No, I don’t think.

I was afraid of that.



I’m not supposed to tell you this, but…

But what?

Never mind.

As I was saying, I would like to patent a meme.

I’m listening.

Thank you. The meme is as follows, “Size Matters – Logic Doesn’t” am I in the right place?

Is that part of the meme?


Thank heavens, no good deed goes unpunished.

What do you mean by that?

Well, being in the right place is always confusing.

I see, you were about to send me down to Real Property?

Yes , indeed … And what is the purpose of the new meme? By the way, this size thing may infringe upon “too big to fail” or even “too large a portion of the economy to regulate.”

Well, I just saw Alice and I think this meme sort of distills it’s meaning.

You mean “her meaning,” don’t you? And wasn’t Johnny Depp brilliant now that he is out of the closet?


Yes, his swish side from “Pirates” and “Chocolate” entirely evaporated.

I always suspected he was heterosexual.

So, what did you say was the purpose of this meme?

Multi-purpose, I suppose.

So it’s a supposition?

No, actually I sort of wanted to deposit the phrase long term.

Like in a repository?

Yes, like in kind of an adage, saw, maxim, aphorism warehouse.

There is no supposition repository here. For that you need the pharmaceutical division.


We abreve and contract here, and what you’ve got on your hands is a suppository.

Don’t you mean democracy?

I see your point, cramming something through. Let’s see, where are you from?

South Carolina.

If you hurry, you can register this meme under “Alternate Subversive Governments.”

Look, this is only a phrase. Before digital copyright confusion I would simply have gone to the Copyright Office.

I understand your quandary. Believe me it gets confusing around here.

You mean since the decision that Corporations could vote?

No, no, no, long before that – when the Justice Department bought the financial sector.

Just after the entertainment industry took over the news industry?

Right, I get your drift, sometime after the coal lobby moved into the EPA offices.

Yes, I remember. Those Texas spendthrifts bought the word conservative from this very department.

Wait, didn’t they use “Neo-Con”?

Now that’s an old con.

Hee, hee, hee, I guess I don’t need a license, then, do I after all.

Ho, ho, ho, not to drive – at least, like Tiger Woods.

Where will all this end?

Probably at the Masters.