alcohol and pumpkin carvingOctober is a scary time. Ironically, the repossessed homes are the only ones not purposefully being turned into cemeteries, hauntings or spider lairs. Our zombie children are encouraged to express their true selves. Orange is no longer reserved for threat levels; Tennessee, Clemson, Auburn, Texas and Miami fans; Scot-Irish Protestants; and Guantanamo detainees. Giant gourds are purchased for mutilation and smashing. We reward those who threaten us with sweet treats rather than sending them to prison or invading their country of origin.

Already scary reality and autopsy shows are joined by marathons of Halloween, Nightmare, Hannibal Lecter, Exorcist, Blair Witch, Amityville, Chain Saw, Hellraiser, Dracula, Zombie, Alien, Charlie Brown, Squarepants and Christmas movies.

Republicans gleefully report the doom of Obama, capitalism, the sanctity of marriage, our way of life and civilization. Democrats woefully report the needless death and suffering of those without jobs, health insurance, homes, clean water, clean air, safety, democracy, peace or hope.

Wall Street investment bankers proudly proclaim their success at making money by betting on money with money that was given to them to keep them from reporting their failure at making money by betting on money with money that was given to them by those who thought they would make money on their money. Congress still has not acted banking regulation.

The faux news shows cover the faux news; parrot the provided talking points and recent polls; showcase the personal tragedy; debate the celebrity gossip, political indiscretion and media covering the media; but fail to cover the 5,200 events held on October 24th in 181 countries around the world to call attention to the need for action on climate change.

October’s TV ads continue to sell us solutions for October’s depression, incontinence, high blood pressure, erectile dysfunction, pain, constipation, balding and periodic pain if we aren’t frightened more by November’s side affects*.

The dollar is weaker; homes aren’t selling; loans aren’t being made; more banks are failing; consumers aren’t spending; tax and social security collections are way down; commercial real estate is in the toilet that’s been flushed; families under the poverty line, health care costs, energy prices, college tuition and unemployment claims are up; fewer people worked for the government, farms, construction, retail, service, transportation, warehouse or manufacturing; more people worked in health care; and unemployment benefits are running out. There won’t be another stimulus bill.

We’re still in at least two wars and sending more troops to Afghanistan. Civilian and military casualties are going back up.

7 patty Burger King WhopperBut have you seen this?

The Burger King 7-patty Whopper  – 5.8 inches tall, 791 grams of beef with 2,120-2,500 calories to honor Microsoft’s new Windows 7 operating system. That’s scary.

*Common side affects from actual warnings: headache; back, muscle, bone or joint pain; severe or continuing heartburn; diarrhea or constipation; flatulence; nausea; abdominal pain and bloating; painful swallowing; chest pain; pain in the arms or legs; blurred vision and an erection lasting more than 4 hours; swelling or tenderness of the breast; a specific birth defect; high blood pressure; an unsafe drop in blood pressure; shortness of breath; a slow heartbeat; weight gain; fatigue; hypotension; dizziness; faintness; decreased appetite; sleepiness; sexual side effects; nervousness; tremor; yawning; sweating; weakness; insomnia; fewer tears or have dry eyes; unexplained weakness; rare cases of tuberculosis; serious infections; a higher rate of lymphoma; vaginal bleeding; painful menstruation; leg cramps; breast pain; vaginitis and itching; difficulty breathing; closing of the throat; swelling of the lips, tongue or face; a personality disorder; numbness; a bad rash or hives; problems urinating; long-term loss of potency; stroke; interaction with other medicines or certain foods; seizures; blood clots; a speech disorder; increased salivation; amnesia; paresthesia; intestinal bleeding; colitis; confusion; decreased levels of sodium in the blood; fluid in the lungs; hair loss; hallucinations; increased levels of potassium in the blood; low blood cell counts; palpitations; pancreatitis; ringing in the ears; tingling sensation; unusual headache with stiff neck (aseptic meningitis); vertigo; worsening of epilepsy; serious kidney problems; acute kidney failure and worsening of chronic kidney failure; severe liver problems including hepatitis, jaundice and liver failure; coughing up blood; cough that doesn’t go away; blue-grey color or darkening around mouth or nails; slow or difficult speech; loss of ability to concentrate; hallucinating; extreme tiredness; seizures; numbness, heaviness, or tingling in arms or legs; floppiness or loss of muscle tone; lack of energy; excessive sweating; fever, sore throat and chills; bloody (or black) vomit or stools; worsening depression; sudden or severe changes in mood or behavior including feeling anxious, agitated, panicky, irritable, hostile, aggressive, impulsive, severely restless, hyperactive, overly excited, or not being able to sleep; dependency; unpleasant taste; thoughts of suicide and death.

Lee Leslie

Lee Leslie

I’m just a plateaued-out plain person with too much time on his hands fighting the never ending lingual battle with windmills for truth, justice and the American way or something like that. Here are some reader comments on my writing: “Enough with the cynicism. One doesn’t have to be Pollyanna to reject the sky is falling fatalism of Lee Leslie’s posts.” “You moron.” “Again, another example of your simple-minded, scare-mongering, label-baiting method of argumentation that supports the angry left’s position.” “Ah, Lee, you traffic in the most predictable, hackneyed leftist rhetoric that brought us to the current state of political leadership.” “You negative SOB! You destroyed all my hope, aspiration, desperation, even.” “Don’t you LIBERALS realize what this COMMIE is talking about is SOCIALISM?!?!?!” “Thank you for wonderful nasty artful toxic antidote to this stupidity in the name of individual rights.” “I trust you meant “bastard” in the truest father-less sense of the word.” “That’s the first time I ran out of breath just from reading!” “You helped me hold my head a little higher today.” “Makes me cry every time I read it.” “Thanks for the article. I needed something to make me laugh this mourning.” “If it weren’t so sad I would laugh.” "... the man who for fun and personal growth (not to mention rage assuagion) can skin a whale of bullshit and rack all the meat (and rot) in the larder replete with charts and graphs and a kindness..."“Amen, brother.”