Like many almost-desert dwellers, San Antonians now look longingly at the clear skies and wonder what’s next. We’re teetering on Stage Two Water Restrictions, according to the San Antonio Water System.
The Edwards Aquifer, which quenches our thirst, has been hovering around 650′ for the past week. Actually, this is no big deal, considering the extreme hardships suffered by those throughout the world, where the lack of rain is bringing on fires, pestilence and death.
Still, as Texans we revel in hyperbole and challenges, so I offer some recommendations to fellow water-challenged citizens:
1) Read Marlo Morgan’s “Mutant Message Down Under.” Her 1994 chronicle of an Australian walkabout with Aborigines will encourage you to mental floss your values, or at least prepare you for survival issues.
2) Switch to indoor sports, preferably those that require no movement.
3) Stop washing everything.
4) Drive somebody’s pickup to a flood area. Submerge. Drive back with truckbed contents intact. Or not.
6) Stop sweating, crying and spitting. If you must, recycle.