Chrysler CEO “Test Dummy Bob” Nardelli (formerly known as Home Depot CEO “Builder Bob”) has signaled bold new initiatives to save the deeply troubled company. With sales even lower than forecast, Chrysler announced it would reject additional Federal TARP money as they don’t need to make or finance any new cars.
Rumors at Chrysler, suggest that may not be the only reason. Speaking on the condition of anonymity, insiders say Nardelli has signed an exclusive deal with the Republican party to sell a new, and potentially, brand-saving car to be named the “Tea Bag”. “The 2010 Chrysler Tea Bag is the perfect family car to push off a cliff (sic: or dump in a local bay),” said industry analysts on last night’s Fox news, “plus, it will have zero air pollution and get unlimited mileage while falling and that ought to please the liberal media.”
Technically, the Tea Bag will only require putting a new logo on already manufactured Chryslers. Restructuring plans call for firing remaining union workers and use executives to put the new Tea Bag logos on their existing inventory of cars.
In a conflicting report, The Washington Post reported today that Chrysler is rejecting the bailout because its top executives refused to sign an agreement limiting executive compensation as they prepare to negotiate union concessions.
I’m just a plateaued-out plain person with too much time on his hands fighting the never ending lingual battle with windmills for truth, justice and the American way or something like that. Here are some reader comments on my writing: “Enough with the cynicism. One doesn’t have to be Pollyanna to reject the sky is falling fatalism of Lee Leslie’s posts.” “You moron.” “Again, another example of your simple-minded, scare-mongering, label-baiting method of argumentation that supports the angry left’s position.” “Ah, Lee, you traffic in the most predictable, hackneyed leftist rhetoric that brought us to the current state of political leadership.” “You negative SOB! You destroyed all my hope, aspiration, desperation, even.” “Don’t you LIBERALS realize what this COMMIE is talking about is SOCIALISM?!?!?!” “Thank you for wonderful nasty artful toxic antidote to this stupidity in the name of individual rights.” “I trust you meant “bastard” in the truest father-less sense of the word.” “That’s the first time I ran out of breath just from reading!” “You helped me hold my head a little higher today.” “Makes me cry every time I read it.” “Thanks for the article. I needed something to make me laugh this mourning.” “If it weren’t so sad I would laugh.” "... the man who for fun and personal growth (not to mention rage assuagion) can skin a whale of bullshit and rack all the meat (and rot) in the larder replete with charts and graphs and a kindness..."“Amen, brother.”