LikeTheDew.com

It was, to say the least, a shock when I found out my daughter thought I was a deadbeat.

And in the process of being told I was a worthless husband and provider and that if it wasn’t for mom we would be all living in a cardboard box, I learned a valuable lesson about perception.

In his book, In Search of Excellence, Tom Peters makes the point “perception is all there is.” It’s an old observation. Around our house when I was getting older (“growing up” is a different concept altogether,) I heard “you never get a second chance to make a good first impression.” Also true.

“Tell us a story, Grandpa Santorum,” several of the children said together. It was cold, and from the front of the concrete bunker, there was a low whistle as the wind pushed through the gaps around the old wooden door. “Tell us a story again, from the before-times.”

Grandpa Santorum smiled a grizzled smile. The children knew he loved to tell stories; the old man knew they liked hearing them. “Oh, I don’t know,” he answered. “There are so many stories from those times. But I think I’ve already told you every story worth telling. I’m not sure how many more stories there are.”

The children protested loudly. “Tell us what it was like!” said a small girl in a flower-print dress. “Tell us about the freedoms!” a bony young man exclaimed.

Dick Cheney, former vice president, Torturer-in-Chief and current CEO of Evil Inc. was given a heart transplant today. The medical professionals involved were confused by the need for this, and one was quoted as saying, “he’s ... Read on →

Dear Justplainwill: I'm frustrated! I have spent the last fourteen years serving humankind – as well as humankind's Indianapolis branch - by being, many people say, the greatest quarterback the world has ever seen. Sadly, after giving the ... Read on →

Welcome to Burger Kink. May I take your order? You can have it your way, or one of our hot and juicy sandwiches will have its way with you. Would you like fries with that? A shake? A ... Read on →

Remember that part of the Bible where Jesus says, "Blessed are the people who use violence to oppose health care policies they don't like"? No? Well, obviously, you haven't being paying attention, sinner. Via Right Wing Watch, ... Read on →

There are those of us who must write to the beat of client-drummers in order to maintain the roofs over our heads and keep our anti-virus programs running. To measure the ease with which the average ... Read on →

Two of our favorite pastimes in my preteen and early teen years were cow tipping and snipe hunting. It was a past time for the country since everyone knew that snipe don’t live in the  city and ... Read on →

Photo by Riverdale Salmon Students, used with Creative Commons 2.0 License. The art world is abuzz over the recent discovery of what one veteran critic “in the know” calls "a vibrant re-expression of a ... Read on →

Huzzah, Huzzah, Huzzah! A cure for dumbshit is on the horizon! Double your IQ, double your fun. Right now, it’s all a little theoretical, but the good news is it has absolutely nothing to ... Read on →

Not to confer anything like super-hero status on the GOP frontrunner, but wow, that Mitt Romney, with his square jaw and graying-at-the-temples pompadour, bears a striking resemblance to Reed Richards, the Fantastic Four's Mr. ... Read on →

Few things are more iconic in the South than the pickup truck and if you are to believe the movies and TV shows set in the South, we all drive old rusted out, ... Read on →

To the firm of Santorum, Romney, Gingrich, Paul & Perry, Please accept this letter as notice of my resignation from the position of temp in your Company, Our U.S.A. Inc., for I have decided ... Read on →

People around the world are making plans for celebrating the arrival of the new year and food will play a big part in starting ... Read on →

So, for Christmas I get one of those spiffy new E-readers. The gift box just materialized under the small Douglas fir that is this ... Read on →

A new controversy has emerged that is threatening to overshadow the impending Iowa presidential caucuses. It was reported yesterday that Cheetah, Tarzan’s beloved sidekick had ... Read on →

The world will come to an end in less than a year and we all had better start getting our affairs in order. If you ... Read on →

The Ford Motor Company recently announced the recall of several models because the wheels could fall off. Now, I really like Ford. They are a ... Read on →

Mayhem broke out last week at a suburban Atlanta shopping mall as customers lost control of their senses when the new Nike Air Jordan basketball shoes went on ... Read on →

Scientists may be close to figgerin' out a way we can all live forever or at least for a thousand years. They think there is something called a ... Read on →

This is the last panel of 36 that I submitted back in the late 80s, attempting to get syndicated... no luck. But it was fun. I had envisioned ... Read on →

Movies like Holiday Inn and White Christmas have helped shape our image of an American Christmas. The truth is, most of the country rarely, if ever sees snow ... Read on →

A Georgia man was arrested about two weeks ago for shooting mistletoe out of trees. Before you start drawing conclusions, this was not just some crazy Southerner who ... Read on →