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Tuesday, July 25, 2017
Southern Weather Radar


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  • Writer Login


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    Trevor Stone Irvin

    Trevor Stone Irvin
    Illustrator and Designer living in the Candler Park area...At one time I worked at the Atlanta Constitution and then for CNN at the startup...it all seemed too much like real work so I went freelance...which my father defined as "being unemployed for a real long time".
    Number of posts: 51
    Email address: email
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    Subscribe to my RSS Feed: http://likethedew.com/author/Trevor Irvin/feed/

    By Trevor Stone Irvin:


      abstraction distraction

      In a Word, Authentic

      by | 0, Add your Comment | Jul 24, 2017
      Scar-Moochi (aka: Anthony Scaramucci) by © Trevor Irvin

      The word “authentic” is being tossed around a lot these days … another empty-calorie, tasteless ingredient in today’s word salad. The kale of the word world.

      The other day, a leaking pustule of a man, Anthony Scaramucci, took over the job of White House Communications Director from the former dripping abscess, Sean Spicer. During one of his attempts at deceiving the press and the public, Scaramucci, started rambling on about just how great Sarah Huckabee was, saying,

      people need to know the truth

      Clinton Tried to Win Election

      by | 6, Add your Comment | Jul 17, 2017
      he Ties That Bind was created by © Trevor Irvin

      Breaking Newz: A quickly unfolding scandal has revealed that Hillary Clinton colluded with millions of democrats nationwide to vote against Donald Trump during the 2016 elections.

      In a statement today, Satan’s BedBug, Kellyanne Conway, said “We hope it is clear to America now how unfairly Donald Trump was treated. When Donald Trump ran for president, Hillary purposely tried to win. We see this as proof she colluded with American Democrats…

      classified funny

      Honesty is the best policy and other grand misconceptions

      by | 5, Add your Comment | May 18, 2017
      Honesty is the best policy and other grand misconceptions

      Well, tie me to an ant hill and slap jelly in ma ears … Vladimir Putin, former KGB chief, thug and Dictator in Chief of Russia has offered to vouch for Donald’s Trumps innocence and honesty during a high stakes classified information swap-meet in the oval office. Vlad says he can prove that Donald is telling the truth.

      Well! Jeesh, that is a relief! Show of hands, who, republican or democrat, with even a smidge of common sense feels more secure and that Donald is trustworthy? …

      just the facts

      The Alternative

      by | 10, Add your Comment | Jan 28, 2017
      Caricature of Kellyanne Conway and Sean Spicer by Trevor Irvin of IrvinProductions.com

      This story is moving so quickly I’m not sure I can keep up with it. By the time you read this we could be in a war with Korea and Putin will be dancing in the West Wing. The American press has been shamed for reporting reality and disseminating verifiable information. I called KellyAnn ConJob to ask her about this and the she-beast of propaganda, hissed … “It’s not the press’s job to report reality, their job is to report what I say reality is.”

      time-honored laughter

      Jingle Hell

      by | 23, Add your Comment | Dec 18, 2016
      decorating our tree by Trevor Irvin

      It starts by driving 500 miles to seven different tree farms, farmers markets and retail establishments to argue with seven fingered cretins about how “there is no way in hell I’m going to pay you 100 bucks for a dead, eight-foot tree.” At some point, finding yourself in state other than the one in which you started, and having been told by the seventh tree ape to “shove it” in several languages and hand gestures, you decide to cut your losses (no pun intended) …

      dr. ben carson did what?

      My Head Just Exploded

      by | 6, Add your Comment | Nov 16, 2016
      My Head Just Exploded

      Ok, first a quick update:
 I want to just say I’m very disappointed that it looks as though I did not win either the Electoral College or the popular vote.

      My campaign manager Mr. Mittens is digging through the early returns (and his bag of cat nip) in order to find out just where my campaign went south. So, unless the Supreme Court steps in I may not become president this time around. I am also deeply troubled to inform my supporters that my own mother didn’t vote for me…

      chicken-wing democrat

      Write Me In

      by | 9, Add your Comment | Oct 24, 2016
      Write Me In by Trevor Irvin

      I am the first write-in presidential candidate who will win in a landslide. So heads up — Hillary is not the only historic choice here.

      My run for the highest office in the land has gone exceedingly well. I am the first candidate to run an issue-free, wall-free, policy-free, promise-you-anything-to-get-in-office, campaign. (I know, I know, the Donald is neck-and-neck with me on this, but I’m not worried that he’ll grab the presidency – other stuff, well, you may want to be careful, just sayin’.)

      ms. misogyny

      Finally!

      by | 6, Add your Comment | Sep 7, 2016
      Fear and Loathing with Phyllis Schlafly by the author, Trevor Irvin

      Phyllis Schlafly has finally made millions of people very happy … she died. It was a simple, but gratifying act. Many hoped it would have happened much sooner, but as they say, better late than never. It occurs to me that there are a few others it would be nice to see follow suit. Are you listening Cheney?

      Schlafly, a working women who hated women who worked, was an expert on self-loathing. She so hated her kind that she didn’t want to stop at shredding equal rights and equal pay for women; she hoped one day to become a Jewish Nazi and send herself to a death camp where she could have all her rights and humanity exterminated.

      not so great

      It’s Always Sunny in America

      by | 6, Add your Comment | Jul 27, 2016
      Donald Trump caricature by DonkeyHotey

      Today, in his third act as President, (the first two are too embarrassing to mention) Donald Trump ended the treaty with the SunGod. He felt that others were not contributing their fair share of sacrifices to the SunGod. At today’s press conference, which was held in the complete dark due to the lack of a sun, Donald stated “America is for chumps if we are going to pay too much for sunlight! I’m not going to sacrifice one more smoking hot virgin that I could use in the Miss America pageant to some SunGod who isn’t an American…

      breaking news

      Whew! Thank Goodness

      by | 6, Add your Comment | Apr 1, 2016
      Breaking News Screen shot

      Several shootings lately. Today it’s in Virginia at a Richmond Greyhound Bus Terminal.

      Fortunately, no need to panic. As quick as you can scream “Active shooter, shelter in place!” the news stations pounced, emphatically stating “this is not terrorism!”

      Whew, for a minute I thought this was something serious.

      The local news and CBS categorically stated “There is no link to terrorism that we know of….

      gun totin' stoopid

      Patridiot Standoff Continues

      by | 7, Add your Comment | Jan 15, 2016
      Patridiot Standoff Continues

      Day 15.

      Standoff continues. Patridiots not budging, holding firm on demands of more clean underwear and Febreze. Feds yet to show up or give a damn.

      No shots were fired again today to the deep disappointment of the Yee-hadists within the Patridiot’s compound. “We are at serious risk of not being taken seriously” one Patridiot exclaimed. “Christ, they may think we’re some sort of hippie, peace-nik group if there ain’t a little blood shed soon” another one complained.

      “Now I know how Davy Crockett must have felt before any of the Mexicans showed up at the Alamo.” claimed Burfurd T. Mudflap.

      gun totin' stoopid

      News Update from the heartland of the US of A

      by | 7, Add your Comment | Jan 6, 2016
      White Terrorist Militia Men Occupy Federal Cabins In Oregon To Protest Getting Caught Breaking The Law

      KRAZYVILLE, Ore. Community leaders were sent in today to help the Yee-hawdists who have taken over bird watchin’ from the commie, big-gubment liberals at a Federal reserve in Oregon.

      The local sheriff David Ward stated “we had to send someone in with a scissors to help because the I.Q.s are so low they would have died trying unsuccessfully to open the snacks we sent in.” A reporter for the Oregon Sentinel interviewed one of the Tali-banjo who said they couldn’t seem to figure out how to open the Zip-Lock bags containing the S’mores…

      breaking satire

      It’s Official, I’m Running

      by | 18, Add your Comment | Dec 14, 2015
      Big T for President - No Experience What so Ever!

      Today I’m announcing my candidacy for president of the United States. It’s fitting that I begin my candidacy in the historic setting of my upstairs studio. I am honored to be surrounded by so many supporters and well-wishers, and by that I mean my two cats. (My wife has yet to sign on to my campaign but give her time).

      I’m working on a campaign slogan—it’s a toss-up between…

      sensible gun laws now

      In Nothing We Trust

      by | 7, Add your Comment | Dec 4, 2015
      In Nothing We Trust

      Congress and the Senate today vowed to do everything in their power to do absolutely nothing about the mass shootings today. Which shooting you ask? I don’t know, pick one, there are far too many to keep track of.

      The Speaker of the house, Paul Ryan, in an interview today said “We don’t want to rush to judgment and take away the rights from any red-blooded, all-American, shit-for-brains that simply wants a big-ass gun. His right to stupid supersedes your right to life, liberty and the pursuit of breathing…

      dressed for success

      You’ve got to be kidding

      by | 6, Add your Comment | Oct 14, 2015
      You've got to be kidding

      Today something happened that rocked my world. I know what you’re thinking, but no, it wasn’t due to jamming knitting needles in my ears to prevent listening to the sea of stupid rolling from the mouth of Donald Trump. It wasn’t due to the reports of Ben Carson digging his way into another intellectual manure pile by saying all you have to do to stop a mass shooter is to for everyone to agree to rush the shooter all at once…

      race rant

      Just who the hell are we?

      by | 8, Add your Comment | Jun 23, 2015
      Just who the hell are we?

      First, yeah this is long, but just maybe, it’s time for long, cuz it’s been a long time comin’.

      I suppose it all started with Michael Jackson and his desire for a “white” nose, which didn’t turn out so well. Why a really handsome, very talented guy would willingly fuck up his face is truly beyond me. Michael was said to have lightened his skin, while Rachel Dolezal is said to have darkened hers.

      Oblogservations: Life in the Key of Stupid

      by | 6, Add your Comment | Mar 9, 2015
      Oblogservations: Life in the Key of Stupid

      Okay, what’s in the headlines today?  Well, let’s see.

      Jumpin’ Jehosaphats: There is the idiot woman who was asked to leave a McDonalds because she claimed that the kangaroo, (yes, a fuckin’ kangaroo) she had with her, wrapped in a blanket and riding in an infant car seat, was her “service animal.” Like the rest of you I assumed it must be a “Seeing Eye Kangaroo” but that would be incorrect. She explained to the officer that the kangaroo helps her cope with “emotional distress” and showed him a doctor’s note stating she needed a kangaroo…

      charlie hebdo

      Je Suis Charlie

      by | 3, Add your Comment | Jan 8, 2015
      Je Suis Charlie

      begins with halloween

      It’s That Time of Year Again

      by | 6, Add your Comment | Dec 16, 2014
      It’s That Time of Year Again

      It’s that time of year again. Ya’ll know what I’m talking about … the holidays. Some see it as the song claims “It’s the most wonderful time of the year” … But others among us are just left wondering. First it’s the sugary shock of Halloween. Then it’s surviving the Thanksgiving glutton-fest. Followed by a tsunami of high-octane shopping you can’t afford, partying, last minute gift buying, a morning of exchanging gifts you don’t need, a mad rush to return the gifts you don’t want, more shopping and finally a drunken evening, ending with new year’s resolutions and false resolve to quit your shameful and glutinous behavior as soon as the thunder in your head subsides…

      sustain me

      What’s on the Menu?

      by | 0, Add your Comment | Dec 9, 2014
      What's on the menu by Trevor Irvin

      Have you noticed lately that menus aren’t just menus anymore? They are adjective-laden exercises in literary carnage. Pretentious descriptions of food so florid I’m not sure what I’m ordering. It seems the goal of a restaurant, aside from separating me from the contents of my wallet, is to make me feel good about what I’m eating, or self-conscious, I’m not quite sure which. Thus the word sustainable creeps into every menu I read. Sustainable, as in sustainable agriculture or sustainable fish … what I really want is whatever is being served to “sustain me,” not the other way around.

      smell test

      What’s that I smell?

      by | 5, Add your Comment | Sep 23, 2014
      What’s that I smell?

      I always knew politics smelled funny but I never know how much until now. Seems a couple of braniacs led by Brown University political scientist Rose McDermott have conducted a study showing that we can sniff out like minded people just from their body odor. So it ain’t only dogs that can find their friends with their noses, you can too. I won’t get into the ugly details, but essentially people from one political persuasion smelled body parts and bodily fluids of people from other political persuasions to determine if they were simpatico.

      yumm

      The Bacon Bowl

      by | 3, Add your Comment | May 16, 2014
      The Bacon Bowl

      I know what you’re thinking, that the Bacon Bowl is an SEC College Bowl Game that takes place on a hog farm in Arkansas … Nope, it’s the newest advance in American gastronomy.

      The Bacon Bowl is a small, plastoid, hat shaped device that you wrap a wad of bacon around. Then you zap the crap out of it in the microwave and remove the remaining, crispy, bowl-shaped bowl-o-bacon. You then fill this “bowl” with a plethora of heart stopping ingredients, such as cheese drenched macaroni and sausage balls, swimmin’ in butter, topped with a fried egg…

      man license

      Bare Minimums

      by | 19, Add your Comment | Mar 25, 2014
      Bare Minimums

      I think there should be minimum requirements to being a man. Don’t worry; men are a rather small minded-bunch so the requirements wouldn’t be stringent. But there should be bare minimums. And f you can’t meet the minimum requirements, you’ll be asked to move to Canada or Los Angeles.

      The case for bare minimums was recently made when I saw an early-thirties male-like person at Home Depot who asked the woman at the paint counter. “How do you open a can of paint?”

      life in the key of stupid

      Outbreak of Affluenza Strikes Down Teen

      by | 9, Add your Comment | Dec 19, 2013
      Outbreak of Affluenza Strikes Down Teen

      A 16-year-old is avoiding all jail time for killing four people and injuring nine in a drunk-driving accident after his lawyer successfully argued the teen suffers from “affluenza.” Affluenza, you say? You aren’t familiar with that disease? Well, you should be. It is a deadly affliction spreading rapidly into the wealthy conclaves of gated communities … and sadly it strikes only the wealthy.

      the news

      Life in the Key of Stupid – July 2013

      by | 4, Add your Comment | Jul 30, 2013
      Life in the Key of Stupid – July 2013

      Just plain ignorant: House Speaker John Boehner issued a second scathing rebuke of fellow republican Rep. Steve King after the Iowa Republican stood by his idiotic comments characterizing most young undocumented immigrants as “drug mules.” Boehner blowtificated “I want to be clear, (after years of making incredibly stupid comments himself) there’s no place in this debate for hateful or ignorant comments from elected officials.

      Bringing Us Closer

      A Resounding Endorsement

      by | 14, Add your Comment | Mar 4, 2013
      A Resounding Endorsement

      Have you engaged in the newest of social phenomenons, “endorsing?”

      The job networking site “LinkedUp” or “HookedIn,” or whatever-the-hell it’s called, allows you to tell the world that someone you know, think you know, or wish you knew, possesses abilities that other people, who you don’t know, should know about. “LumpedIn” or “WhoseOutThere” is a social network that is supposed to connect you to other people in hopes of obtaining work. Well, that ship sailed, and it was decided  we would all be better off just “endorsing “ each other instead. It’s sort of a really lame, cyber pat on the back.

      Every Awesome Aspect

      Those Holiday Letters

      by | 6, Add your Comment | Jan 19, 2013
      Those Holiday Letters

      Some holiday traditions are great, you know, like a dry pine tree strung with a mile and a half of old, fraying electrical wire, a diabetic heaven of sugar cookies and of course a full month of alcohol abuse … who doesn’t love that? But there are some traditions that we could do without. And holiday letters may be one of them.

      You’ve all gotten them; and some of you (you know who you are) have sent them. I’m referring to those six page, once a year, holiday letters from…

      Looking Back

      Let’s wrap this one up

      by | 10, Add your Comment | Dec 26, 2012
      Let’s wrap this one up

      It’s been a bad year.

      First there was the Mayan End of the World thing that didn’t really pan out as expected. I was so sure I wouldn’t be around writing this today. So in anticipation of the end I had emptied our bank account and 401K. I maxed out the credit card, sold the wife’s jewelry and bought all kinds of shit I couldn’t afford. Now I find out I won’t be going anywhere except to Title Max to hock my car and that I have one really pissed off wife. I now own a $10,000 barbeque grill, a turbo charged riding lawnmower equipped with air-conditioning…

      When Someone Gets It Right

      Complete Lunacy

      by | 2, Add your Comment | Jun 12, 2012
      Complete lunacy - wine and salad illustration by Trevor Stone Irvin

      Have you ever have one of those nights where inexplicably everything turns out perfectly? No? Well, I’m feeling ya, but here’s how to solve it.

      My friend Vic called and said “Pick you two up at six; I’m taking you out for dinner.” He got no argument from me. A free meal is a free meal, and I’m a cheap bastard. It began with a ride downtown to the empty streets of old Atlanta, past the court house, and down to Mitchell Street. The strips of cooling asphalt and cement sidewalks, were long emptied, because the impotent powers that be in Atlanta still haven’t figured out how to create a Manhattan-like night life in some of the most important 50 square blocks of Georgia.

      Repair Job

      A new heart for an old Dick

      by | 14, Add your Comment | Mar 26, 2012
      A new heart for an old Dick

      Dick Cheney, former vice president, Torturer-in-Chief and current CEO of Evil Inc. was given a heart transplant today. The medical professionals involved were confused by the need for this, and one was quoted as saying, “he’s lived for 71 years without a heart, why does he need one now?”

      There were some complications during surgery, as the donor heart was heard kicking and screaming, “No, please no, god no, I don’t want to go in there!” The donor heart was finally tazered into submission, wrapped in barbed wire, and thrown into the dark, cold cavity where Cheney’s heart would have been, had he been born with one.

      A Cure for Dumbass?

      A Brighter Day

      by | 1, Add your Comment | Jan 17, 2012
      A Brighter Day

      Huzzah, Huzzah, Huzzah! A cure for dumbshit is on the horizon! Double your IQ, double your fun. Right now, it’s all a little theoretical, but the good news is it has absolutely nothing to do with injecting stem cells or homeschooling.

      Turns out, the key to increased intelligence is achieved through longer neural pathways. Stretch those little suckers out, and you won’t have to live on planet dumbass anymore. The upside of a doubled IQ will be substantial. The physics homework you were helping your kid with will finally make sense … to you.

      New Year's Fireworks

      The new year … disappointed again

      by | 3, Add your Comment | Jan 1, 2012
      The new year ... disappointed again

      Dear friggin’ everyone,

      Yes, I heard all the commotion last night at midnight. The celebration, the fireworks, and of course all the pistols shots, joyously fired off into the crisp night air, their bullets rhythmically thunk, thunk, thunking into my roof. All to welcome in a new year. (And if you think I’m joking I will gladly show you the AK 47 slug embedded into my back deck.)

      Nothing Certain But Taxes

      I Want To Live Forever – you, I’m not so sure about

      by | 2, Add your Comment | Dec 22, 2011
      1000 Candle Happy Birthday Cake

      Scientists may be close to figgerin’ out a way we can all live forever or at least for a thousand years. They think there is something called a “telomere” that if prevented from shortening, our bodies can be kept from deteriorating. An exciting notion, until you start thinking it through.

      First, the obvious: I deserve to be around for a thousand years, because I’m a pretty fabulous guy — but I don’t think my neighbor does. I’ve been tolerating his crap for over 20 years, and the thought of watching him put up those stupid inflatable Christmas decorations for another thousand Christmases is too much to ask.

      WTF Politics

      Is tater-head stupid good enough?

      by | 12, Add your Comment | Dec 15, 2011
      Texas Governor Rick "Potato Head" Perry

      It seems the man can’t help himself. Perry has reached the topmost bar regarding presidential debate flubs with his now classic “oops” moment not being able to remember which departments he wants eliminated. Perry and Paul seem to be competing on which of their pretend candidacies can eliminate more federal departments. Not that any of this matters, because fortunately neither one will get the chance to do so.

      In his latest WTF moment, in a vain attempt to recall the names of the Supreme Court justices, Ricky somehow comes up with “Montemayor?”

      Nitwit Newz

      Your Weekly Newz Wrap Up – Life in the key of Stupid

      by | 8, Add your Comment | Oct 13, 2011
      Your Weekly Newz Wrap Up - Life in the key of Stupid

      In Medical News – Man speaks out of ass:
      Though long suspected, Hank Williams Jr. (aka Bocephus) has proved he is not only unusually slow-witted but can actually talk out of his hindquarters. Hank proudly disseminated his very own personal brand of stupid via Fox News and the internet and got himself fired. Millions were elated when they realized they never have to hear “Are ya ready fer some futtbal?” again.

      In a related story ESPN executives are in a dizzying state of confusion.“Normally we don’t do anything in good taste” one network executive was quoted as saying, “Firing a dumbsh*t is not something we are used to doing; normally we hire them.” The brouhaha has continued with some media types claiming that Junior’s freedom of speech had been violated.

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