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Trevor Stone Irvin
Number of posts: 26
Email address: email
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Posts by Trevor Stone Irvin:
Bringing Us Closer
Have you engaged in the newest of social phenomenons, “endorsing?”
The job networking site “LinkedUp” or “HookedIn,” or whatever-the-hell it’s called, allows you to tell the world that someone you know, think you know, or wish you knew, possesses abilities that other people, who you don’t know, should know about. “LumpedIn” or “WhoseOutThere” is a social network that is supposed to connect you to other people in hopes of obtaining work. Well, that ship sailed, and it was decided we would all be better off just “endorsing “ each other instead. It’s sort of a really lame, cyber pat on the back.
Every Awesome Aspect
Some holiday traditions are great, you know, like a dry pine tree strung with a mile and a half of old, fraying electrical wire, a diabetic heaven of sugar cookies and of course a full month of alcohol abuse … who doesn’t love that? But there are some traditions that we could do without. And holiday letters may be one of them.
You’ve all gotten them; and some of you (you know who you are) have sent them. I’m referring to those six page, once a year, holiday letters from…
It’s been a bad year.
First there was the Mayan End of the World thing that didn’t really pan out as expected. I was so sure I wouldn’t be around writing this today. So in anticipation of the end I had emptied our bank account and 401K. I maxed out the credit card, sold the wife’s jewelry and bought all kinds of shit I couldn’t afford. Now I find out I won’t be going anywhere except to Title Max to hock my car and that I have one really pissed off wife. I now own a $10,000 barbeque grill, a turbo charged riding lawnmower equipped with air-conditioning…
When Someone Gets It Right
Have you ever have one of those nights where inexplicably everything turns out perfectly? No? Well, I’m feeling ya, but here’s how to solve it.
My friend Vic called and said “Pick you two up at six; I’m taking you out for dinner.” He got no argument from me. A free meal is a free meal, and I’m a cheap bastard. It began with a ride downtown to the empty streets of old Atlanta, past the court house, and down to Mitchell Street. The strips of cooling asphalt and cement sidewalks, were long emptied, because the impotent powers that be in Atlanta still haven’t figured out how to create a Manhattan-like night life in some of the most important 50 square blocks of Georgia.
Dick Cheney, former vice president, Torturer-in-Chief and current CEO of Evil Inc. was given a heart transplant today. The medical professionals involved were confused by the need for this, and one was quoted as saying, “he’s lived for 71 years without a heart, why does he need one now?”
There were some complications during surgery, as the donor heart was heard kicking and screaming, “No, please no, god no, I don’t want to go in there!” The donor heart was finally tazered into submission, wrapped in barbed wire, and thrown into the dark, cold cavity where Cheney’s heart would have been, had he been born with one.
A Cure for Dumbass?
Huzzah, Huzzah, Huzzah! A cure for dumbshit is on the horizon! Double your IQ, double your fun. Right now, it’s all a little theoretical, but the good news is it has absolutely nothing to do with injecting stem cells or homeschooling.
Turns out, the key to increased intelligence is achieved through longer neural pathways. Stretch those little suckers out, and you won’t have to live on planet dumbass anymore. The upside of a doubled IQ will be substantial. The physics homework you were helping your kid with will finally make sense … to you.
New Year's Fireworks
Dear friggin’ everyone,
Yes, I heard all the commotion last night at midnight. The celebration, the fireworks, and of course all the pistols shots, joyously fired off into the crisp night air, their bullets rhythmically thunk, thunk, thunking into my roof. All to welcome in a new year. (And if you think I’m joking I will gladly show you the AK 47 slug embedded into my back deck.)
Worthy of Comment
Also on the Dew
Anything characterized by high energy, originality, humor and intelligence is bound to get my attention. I was at an annual fund-raising party for an alternative art center called Nexus in about 1986. Touring the studios I kept being distracted from the visual art by some very interesting Rock 'n Roll. I wasn't the only one. A large segment of the crowd was gathered around the Swimming Pool Qs in the courtyard. Once in their vicinity I was there for as long as they would play. In any field of endeavor certain efforts stand out and the Qs were (are) definitely one Read on →
Or rather, helped build. Partially. Last week I attended a straw bale house building workshop in West Virginia. The workshop was hosted by Andrew Morrison of StrawBale.com, who runs similar workshops all over the world where one can go and assist with the building of a bale house and learn all about it to go home and build one's own. He's really great, super knowledgeable, funny, and an excellent teacher. He seemed to be everywhere at once, always available for questions, but never hovering or breathing down anyone's necks. Wait, straw? What kind of crazy person builds a house out of straw? Actually, Read on →
A few years back, Columbia public relations guru Bud Ferillo made a film about several economically distressed counties that he dubbed the “Corridor of Shame.” This area, which stretched along Interstate 95 in South Carolina from Dillon County to Jasper County, got a lot of attention when then-presidential candidate Barack Obama toured an old Dillon middle school in the run-up to the 2008 election. But did you ever wonder whether South Carolina’s Corridor of Shame was an anomaly -- or whether something similar was happening on the other sides of our state borders? Unfortunately, similar conditions continue, extending north to Tidewater Virginia and curving Read on →
For some reason, a letter from the lobbying arm of the Heritage Foundation was characterized as having been received by NBC News, as if it were some sort of privileged communication. In fact, the thing was a press release and rather obviously designed to change the conversation about the Heritage Foundation from trying to defend the indefensible "study" of Hispanic intellectual insufficiency to food stamps, a real two-fer issue. Two-fer in the sense of being offensive on two fronts since the dollars doled out represent a subsidy to industrial agriculture, even as they serve to remind the indigent that, if they're Read on →