fake opinion next?

President Donald Trump - Caricature by DonkeyHotey

Fake News sites are laying off thousands of workers in the wake of Donald Trump’s first days in office when he rattled off so many lies publishers of the sites said there’s no more complete horsecrap left to make up.

“He’s ruining our business model,” said Ted Klepper, an out-of-work auto worker who publishes TruthGodFacks.com from a shed in the back of his home in Blanchard, Michigan.

“He twists the truth so bad and so fast he just makes your head spin. There’s nothing left to mangle! I mean, the only way I can keep making a living at this is to … go to law school. But, you know, I’m a Trump supporter. So, before that, first I’d have to finish the 8th grade.”

Klepper was distraught that Trump lied about the size of inauguration crowds before Klepper could publish his exposé: “NASA Doctored Aerial Photographs of Trump Inauguration to Make Crowd of 17 Million Look like an Abandoned Field with 7 Illegal Mexicans.”

Others Fake News publishers were equally stunned by the fast turn-about and massive layoffs in the Fake News industry.

During the presidential election, Fake News emerged, seemingly out of nowhere, to threaten legacy news publications — such as The New York Times, The Washington Post and The Wall Street Journal – that were too hidebound by convention to make up horsecrap by the dump truck load.

“These old newspapers lacked nimbleness,” said Edward Echols with Forrest Research. “They were too slow to respond to seismic shifts in the way readers get what people call news. The same way the dot.com boom caught businesses flat-footed in the 1990s, the dumb.com boom, as we call it, has been murder to newspapers.”

Until now.

Reverberations from the collapse of the Fake News industry will go far beyond the sites themselves, said Frank Bassingham, Chief Clinton correspondent for YouCannotMakeThisBSup.com.

On Monday the Fake News site shuttered operations and laid off its staff of 200 editors and reporters on work release from a nearby state prison. “Now Hillary Clinton can run amok for real because there ain’t nobody around to make that crap up,” said Bassingham.

Experts say Trump’s glut of lies — like claiming he never criticized the U.S. intelligence community when, a week earlier, he compared the group to Nazis – will cost the Rust Belt more jobs than all the factories that have shut down and moved overseas.

They estimate the Fake News industry employs about 1.2 million, largely uneducated, morally bankrupt, angry white males who have almost no knowledge of anything, but can type.

By some estimates Trump has averaged at least three blatant public lies a day since his election last November — in press conferences, tweets and speeches — and the toll could grow exponentially, said Lloyd Flankers, a statistical theorist at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

“It’s like trying to calculate how many molecules there are in a bowl of soup,” said Flankers. “Could be billions.”

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Jeffry Scott

Jeffry Scott

Jeffry Scott is a former staff reporter for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution where, over the course of 24 years, he covered two of the biggest trials in the city's history -- the racketeering trial of former mayor Bill Campbell, and the trial of courthouse shooter, Brian Nichols -- and wrote features on travel, food, politics, movies, TV and advertising, and covered breaking news on the metro desk. He left the paper two years ago and is living, quite happily, in St. Petersburg, Fla., as a freelance writer.