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    dr. ben carson did what?

    My Head Just Exploded

    by | 6 | Nov 16, 2016

    Ok, first a quick update:
 I want to just say I’m very disappointed that it looks as though I did not win the Electoral College nor the popular vote.

    My campaign manager Mr. Mittens is digging through the early returns (and his bag of cat nip) in order to find out just where my campaign went south. So, unless the Supreme Court steps in I may not become president this time around. I am also deeply troubled to inform my supporters that my own mother didn’t vote for me. (She voted for Hillary – I’m pretty sure it was a gender thing and I think she still loves me). I am lobbying her aggressively in order to stay in her will, but things don’t look good to say the least.

    Ben Carson - Caricature by DonkeyHoteyThat said, an even bigger political story has just exploded all over the freakin’ internet. Ben Carson, that impressively “low energy” candidate who can’t speak above a whisper, has turned down a position in the new “anything goes” Trump administration. Whhaaaaaaat?!

    Did he refuse the chance at a Cabinet position due to his revulsion of Steve “Brown shirt” Bannon, a far-right douchbag with a soft spot for the Aryan Brotherhood being appointed Czar of Misinformation and Camp Deportation Routes?  Nooooo, that wasn’t the reason.

    Did he turn down the post due to his deep ideological and religious beliefs (and the fact he wasn’t included in all the pussy grabbing that was going on)? Noooooooo … that twasn’t the reason either.

    No, Dr. Ben Carson turned down the post because he feels, and I’m freakin’ quoting here, “he has no government experience, he’s never run a federal agency. The last thing he would want to do was take a position that could cripple the presidency.” I’m sorry my head just exploded.

    THE DUDE RAN FOR FRICKIN’ PRESIDENT!!! (Yes, three exclamation marks are not too many here). But by his own admission he has no damn business doing anything in government because he would likely fuck the whole thing up! BUT THAT STILL DIDN”T STOP HIM FOR RUNNNIG FOR PRESIDENT!!! Let me get this straight, Carson feels unqualified to run a single department but he felt it was a good idea to run for the whole shebang. My head just exploded again.

    According to CNN “Carson was a key adviser and top surrogate during Trump’s presidential campaign, joining him at numerous campaign rallies and helping Trump with his outreach efforts in the African-American community.” But we now come to find that during this time he had no idea what he was doing or why he was doing it.

    Just what he was thinking while standing there at all the rallies looking over the screaming deplorables — “How did all these people get into my living room?”

    Apparently we just dodged a bullet with Benny. The upside to this amazing revelation is Benny realizes that he has no business anywhere near the wheels of government. Hell, I’m not sure he should be allowed near a pizza, he could really hurt himself.

    Now, when will Donald come to the same conclusion?

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    • Editor's Note: For those who might otherwise not know Mr. Irvin announced his candidacy here at LikeTheDew.com and his most recent appeal can be found here. Image: Ben Carson - Caricature by DonkeyHotey via flickr and used under a Creative Commons license.
    Trevor Stone Irvin

    Trevor Stone Irvin

    Illustrator and Designer living in the Candler Park area...At one time I worked at the Atlanta Constitution and then for CNN at the startup...it all seemed too much like real work so I went freelance...which my father defined as "being unemployed for a real long time".

     

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    • David of the Mountains

      What kind of trash racist talk is this anyway? Just because you received a total of two votes (even your own kids AND Mr Mittens bailed on you), where do you get off criticizing the honorable Dr Carson? Just because he used the campaign to promote his unreadable book, just because he could barely keep his eyes open during the debates, just because moderators had to place a feather under his nose to ensure he was still breathing, just because he saw the light and switched to drumph and became his cheerleader early on, you have the temerity to rag on him! Give him credit for admitting up front he was incapable of even managing an ice cream stand, let along a government department. Which one was it, anyway? Scrapbooking? Your head exploded? Good. Now maybe you can mop up all the lizards and newts and other critters who swim in your technicolor ooze and find a wad of cotton to plug the gaping hole in your pumpkin. I’m shocked, I say, shocked, at what a poor loser you’re become. Go back to your easel and pretend you’re a Georgia version of Bart Simpson. Paint a canvas saying, “I didn’t mean it. I was only indulging in my usual sick humor.” 500,000 times. By then, pence and his she-devil will have poisoned drumph anyway and taken over. You’ll be denied your late-term abortion (Oh lordy, another Irvin in the world!!) You might even get invited to their White House to serve as official taster. You and Ben will both be required to wait on these new inspirational leaders, Macbeths without the charm. You’ll have a new buddy to drink with at Manny’s. Now suck it up and march on into the abyss with the rest of us. BTW, I’m one of the six voters in West Virginia who did NOT cast their ballot for drumph. I voted for some dude named Will who would at least have brought some dignity to the nation’s golf courses.

      • Trevor Irvin

        Dave, I’m considering re-evaluating my entire life due to your succinct observations here … now point me in the direction of that abyss.
        Regards,
        T

    • Anoni

      Lordy lordy, you and David of the Mountains are a couple of feisty reactivists, Trevor.
      Give Trump a chance. Behind that Mussolini like jaw there may lurk a heart full of passion to improve life for Americans by innovative and imaginative means. Have you considered that he genuinely craves to make life better for the masses who voted for him? He wants to benefit America in a way that will enhance his reputation and legacy, so he lies awake thinking, ‘How can I improve things so they benefit from the benevolence I feel towards them? ‘ Granted, he’s a rampant egoist, but perhaps his craving for power is the drive to genuinely improve our lot?
      People need affordable health care and if anyone has the vision and spunk to achieve this, it’s Trump. Perhaps their children are unable to complete their education due to prohibitive costs or an aversion to student debt, a laudable caution; he will help them. Perhaps he sees the world of commerce as his own roulette game and he owns the casino, so he can obtain the best deal for the punters. Perhaps he thinks getting cozy with Putin is an original way to pursue Peace. I admit that his concerns about abortion and Planned Parenthood threw me to begin with, but now I see that it brings on board all those who know better about these issues than we do. He doesn’t acknowledge global warming because he is afraid of the dark, and whistling is a good way to cope. He’s appointing dynamic people to advise him because We Need Change. He’s human.
      Tell this to the nation and above all, tell it to the Marines.

      • Eileen

        If you believe that, you’ll believe anything.

    • Will Cantrell

      T: Great piece. But good grief, Trev, please, please don’t let your head explode. A mind IS a terrible thing to waste —even yours, especially over someone like Ben Carson. More specifically 1. None of us who knows even a little bit about how your head works, knows it’s not a pretty sight. None of us wants to be collateral damage and get that hot mess all over us if we happen to be in close proximity to Ground Zero—or in your case, ‘Head Zero’. 2. I’d have to find a new golfing buddy and no one else is likely to go along with my golf cheat schemes like you do. 3. Most importantly, over the next four years —maybe even in the next four days, hours or minutes—there will be worse stuff, likely MUCH, MUCH worse to develop from the Trump Administration for your head to explode over.

      Examples: Trump being found guilty on the Trump University scam. Trump finally getting his tiny little hands on the nuclear buttons. Billy Bush being appointed as Press Secretary; Sarah Palin as Secretary of the Interior, Rudy Giuliani as Secretary of State. Trump’s kids getting Top Secret Security Clearances. Anyway, don’t waste a good old fashioned head explosion on Ben Carson. You’re going to need to save it for something worse from Trump likely much worse especially since Trump and his band of White House terrorists will do more harm to America than ISIS or even Wal-Mart

      Anyway, I’m not shocked at this move (or non-move) by Carson, at all. I NEVER thought Carson was sincere about being POTUS in the first place. I was and still am convinced that he was running for POTUS as a way to promote a very recent book he’d written and gotten published about a year ago or so. If I remember correctly, he had some very successful book signings during his campaign. You’ll remember he actually took some time off from the so-called campaign trail to promote the book. So, in the main, Carson was insincere and ‘just kidding’ when he ran for POTUS. He’s just another one of the charlatans like Newt or Rick Santorum who makes his living by running for POTUS. Again, great piece. Will

      • Trevor Irvin

        Thanks Will,
        Regards,
        T

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