Ok, first a quick update: I want to just say I’m very disappointed that it looks as though I did not win the Electoral College nor the popular vote.
My campaign manager Mr. Mittens is digging through the early returns (and his bag of cat nip) in order to find out just where my campaign went south. So, unless the Supreme Court steps in I may not become president this time around. I am also deeply troubled to inform my supporters that my own mother didn’t vote for me. (She voted for Hillary – I’m pretty sure it was a gender thing and I think she still loves me). I am lobbying her aggressively in order to stay in her will, but things don’t look good to say the least.
That said, an even bigger political story has just exploded all over the freakin’ internet. Ben Carson, that impressively “low energy” candidate who can’t speak above a whisper, has turned down a position in the new “anything goes” Trump administration. Whhaaaaaaat?!
Did he refuse the chance at a Cabinet position due to his revulsion of Steve “Brown shirt” Bannon, a far-right douchbag with a soft spot for the Aryan Brotherhood being appointed Czar of Misinformation and Camp Deportation Routes? Nooooo, that wasn’t the reason.
Did he turn down the post due to his deep ideological and religious beliefs (and the fact he wasn’t included in all the pussy grabbing that was going on)? Noooooooo … that twasn’t the reason either.
No, Dr. Ben Carson turned down the post because he feels, and I’m freakin’ quoting here, “he has no government experience, he’s never run a federal agency. The last thing he would want to do was take a position that could cripple the presidency.” I’m sorry my head just exploded.
THE DUDE RAN FOR FRICKIN’ PRESIDENT!!! (Yes, three exclamation marks are not too many here). But by his own admission he has no damn business doing anything in government because he would likely fuck the whole thing up! BUT THAT STILL DIDN”T STOP HIM FOR RUNNNIG FOR PRESIDENT!!! Let me get this straight, Carson feels unqualified to run a single department but he felt it was a good idea to run for the whole shebang. My head just exploded again.
According to CNN “Carson was a key adviser and top surrogate during Trump’s presidential campaign, joining him at numerous campaign rallies and helping Trump with his outreach efforts in the African-American community.” But we now come to find that during this time he had no idea what he was doing or why he was doing it.
Just what he was thinking while standing there at all the rallies looking over the screaming deplorables — “How did all these people get into my living room?”
Apparently we just dodged a bullet with Benny. The upside to this amazing revelation is Benny realizes that he has no business anywhere near the wheels of government. Hell, I’m not sure he should be allowed near a pizza, he could really hurt himself.
Now, when will Donald come to the same conclusion?