We are non-commercial, all volunteer and supported by our readers. Please help sustain the Dew by making a donation.
What to Expect from the New GOP
Watching Meet the Press yesterday, I almost choked on my breakfast when I heard Paul Ryan say with a straight face, “Immigration is a good thing.”
Those GOP strategy meetings last week must have simply encouraged Republicans to start saying the opposite of everything they have said for the past 20 years or so. Not a bad political strategy in my opinion, but America already has a party for liberals.
The Republican Party also seems to be distancing itself from the fringe elements that have been dictating its wayward course. After all, does anyone believe that Sarah Palin’s “separation” from Fox News the day after the strategy meetings was a coincidence?
The re-branding of the GOP now has me wondering what might be next for America’s fast-sinking political ship. Here are some things we might be able to look forward to:
Instead of tax breaks for the wealthy to “encourage growth,” Republicans will consider a plan to pay down the national debt by levying a new slander tax on Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity every time one of them insults someone he disagrees with.
Instead of serving as a television surrogate for conservative Republicans, Ann Coulter will now be asked to do some community outreach in America’s Black Muslim communities.
Taking advantage of public outcry over gun violence, NRA-backed congressmen will now visit the grieving families of the 30,000 Americans killed by guns every year. They will be cancelling all campaign fundraising events in order to make time for this new duty.
Instead of cutting funding for public education, Republicans congressmen and senators who attended public schools will now supply their former schools with pencils, paper, and other supplies directly from their offices in Washington. They will also be sending personalized thank you cards to the former teachers who helped enabled them to become such cunning individuals.
Instead of fighting to repeal the Affordable Care Act, Republicans will now revert to their original position on mandated health care as issued by the Heritage Foundation in 1989.
Instead of accusing the President of “not leading” in the turbulent revolutions of foreign countries, Republican politicians will now personally lead an armed resistance to fight against the likes of Bashir Al-Assad, right alongside members of Al-Queda.
In order to stop offending women with careless comments regarding rape and abortion, Republican leaders will be required to complete a sensitivity training course taught by Rachel Maddow.
Instead of simply parading out every minority representative of the Republican Party onto the stage at the Republican National Convention, Reince Priebus has suggested that his black and Hispanic colleagues invite their “amigos” and “homies” to add a little diversity to the delegates on the floor.
Instead of trying to limit access to voting among elderly and minority constituents, Republicans are proposing to offer free copies of Atlas Shrugged to anyone who would like to vote without government issued identification.
These are just a few of the solutions the GOP may be rolling out in the coming weeks, but if they prove to be successful, the 2016 ticket of Christie and Rubio can’t lose.
- Image: Created for LikeTheDew.com from photos licensed at YayMicro.com.
Worthy of Comment
Also on the Dew
My wife and I attended An Evening of Prayer Tuesday at Mt. Zion Baptist Church in Pawleys Island. The special event was an ecumenical vigil for the victims of the Charleston massacre on June 17 at Emanuel AME Church at the hands of a moral idiot. For some reason, the vigil brought to mind the opening lines of Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities, one of the most famous openings in all of literature: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” -- worst in this case because we who gathered there knew we were about to re Read on →
"Ol' Obama knocked it outta the park yestiddy didn't he?" "Sumbitch always does. He always does." "Big O was fuckin' magnificent in Charleston. I can't believe he actually sang 'Amazing Grace.' I think he knew Clementha Pinckney…" The conversation was on-going at a table across from where I'm taking refuge from ominous weather. As near as I can tell, their names are Stan, Roy and Tommy. All three are African-American. They are gray-beards, firmly ensconced in the demographic labeled 'active seniors.' One of them, 'Stan', wears a yellow and black baseball cap that shouts 'STEELERS'. It's mid-afternoon last Saturday in one of those places o Read on →
That my first visit to the Lincoln memorial in 48 years would bring tears was unexpected. Yet on a sunny September Sunday in 2012, at the feet of his massive marble likeness, staring solemnly upon the chiseled words of President Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, salty drops dot my face. There is poignancy simply in standing where I scampered a lifetime ago as an unknowing four-year-old. But, my tears this day are for something more immediate – at least for me. This moment, the text of our 16th President’s second inaugural speech, and especially his Gettysburg Address fall this day upon a heart Read on →
Recently a gunman walked into a church with intent to murder, cause mayhem and start a revolution against black people. Instead, his killing of nine church members brought people of all faiths and color together, finding even those closest to the people he shot to forgive him. God moves in mysterious ways. The rampage in Charleston, S.C., known as the Holy City, indeed turned the people of that city not toward recrimination and violence, but to love, grace and forgiveness. While shootings in other cities have turned into rioting and burnings of buildings, instead the people of Charleston saw another way. Their actions Read on →