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There’s something inexplicably funny about pork chops. Not to the pig, of course. And I’m not talking about the actual slab of meat, boned or boneless. What I mean is that if you put a pork chop in a joke or a sitcom, it will get a laugh. And not just from me. Comedy writers obviously recognize and utilize a pork chop’s inherently comical qualities.

There’s the old joke about the kid who was so homely his parents had to tie a pork chop around his neck to get the dog to play with him. Any number of other food items could have served the purpose, but the joke says it was a pork chop.

An episode of Will and Grace places two of the show’s characters, Jack and Karen, at a table beside their apartment building’s elevator on Halloween night. As costumed children emerge from the elevator, Karen drops into their trick or treat bags… a pork chop. Nothing else from the pantry or kitchen would have been nearly as funny.

One of the best lines in the history of TV script writing appeared in an episode of The Big Bang Theory. When Sheldon informs his nerdy friends that none of them is acceptable as a suitor for his attractive sister, Howard Wolowitz asks, “Is it because I’m Jewish? ‘Cause I’d kill my Rabbi with a pork chop for your sister!” Hysterical!

In a surreal example of life imitating art, a friend of mine engaged in a long running feud with a major grocery chain over the freshness of their pork chops. When he purchased them, rushed them home, and stuck them in his freezer, they seemed fresh. Yet when he thawed them to cook, they smelled tainted. Many a chop got carted back to the store to be exchanged. Finally, in a fit of exasperation, he FedExed a pork chop to corporate headquarters. This was so funny to me that I could get weak-kneed just thinking of it. No eggs, grapes, cheese, muffins, or other grocery item could have left me as helpless with laughter as that pork chop did. It’s probably gilding the lily, but honesty compels me to tell you that the pork chop got lost in transit. I have no doubt that it was easily located after a couple days. The jokes here just write themselves in this scenario.

I like my pork chops Southern fried, baked, or grilled. I like my humor subtle and sophisticated. But put a pork chop in my humor, and I’m your girl forever.

Linda Jordan Tucker

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