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Jamie Dimon is the stupidest smart person on planet Earth. In fact, he is so far stupider and smarter, on average, than any other human being that he should be barred from any consideration in a future contest for ranking stupid smart people in order for other qualified persons to have a shot at winning. Furthermore there should be an annual prize and award made to the future designees and it should be named “The Jamie Dimon Award.”

According to CNBC, official tool of Wall Street, delicate Jamie, at a conference sponsored by Goldman Sachs, said, he has worked on Wall Street for most of his life and “has contributed his share.”

God, how the poor man must have suffered. The heart weeps.

I suppose Goldman had Jamie, head of rival financial conglomerate, JP Morgan Chase, invited due to his complete reliability to whine and say something stunningly stupid and offensive to the vast majority of Americans and, indeed, the world’s human population. For Jamie, one of the preeminent bankster’s whose greed, larceny and voracious appetite for garnering wealth by doing nothing of social value and living large, “does not get” the fact that anyone would resent the rich. He does not get that it is not the run of the mill “rich” who are resented, it is the robber bankers who first destroyed the stability of the world’s financial system and then eagerly snarfed up trillions and trillions of tax payer money to save their asses. Because the banksters were able, with unlimited and, for the most part, unappropriated public funding amounting, so far, to around $23,000,000,000,000 (that is twenty-three trillion dollars) have managed to keep the ATMs working while paying themselves trillions in salaries and bonuses, they cannot understand why in the world we are not grateful. Jamie continues to lament the fact that we are acting like “spoiled teenagers.” Frankly, Jamie is sick of it and, deducing from his tone, will not put up with it for much longer.

Jamie’s feelings are hurt. He is willing to accept our collective apology, if it is accompanied by a heartfelt expression of appreciation for all he has done and is continuing to do for money. How, otherwise, could he be sure our apology is genuine?

Jamie does not understand that “this resentment of the rich” he does not get will go away if and when he and his ilk cease screwing the middle class and cease urinating on the poor. He does not understand it because, on the one hand, it is the very definition of “trickle down” and, on the other hand, if you want something to stick, you screw it to the wall.

If Jamie does not understand the current resentment, it is hard to fathom how he will absorb the news out of Germany that Deutsche Bank’s CEO received what is thought to be a letter bomb earlier today. When he gets the warning from the NYPD that he and all his bankster fiends… er, friends, should be on the lookout for similar correspondence, his poor heart may break, assuming he has one.

Perhaps, not coincidentally, Deutsche Bank is one of the leading and most aggressive home foreclosure banks in the United States and world wide.

One of my favorite commentaries on the whole ‘they’re stupid so let’s keep fleecing them’ mindset of Jamie and his gang of ravaging looters is a simple cartoon. It illustrates an angry mob consisting of the ‘great unwashed’ howling at a double line of police behind whom walk two financial plutocrats. One plutocrat is saying to the other, “I hope we can still control the police after they discover we have stolen their pensions.”

Have a good day and try not to hurt Jamie’s feelings

Mike Copeland

I am sixty-two years old, married with three grown children. I have a B. A. from Birmingham Southern College and a Master's in City Planning from Georgia Tech. I have worked in SC State government for over a decade leaving as the Deputy Executive Director of the State Budget and Control Board, the state's administrative agency. I have owned the Fontaine Company since 1984 and am the managing member of viscerality.com.llc (www.viscerality.com) and technology management, marketing and consulting company.

I am the author of several novels. The current project is titled Unforgivable Sin, a satire about religion and politics.

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