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    Southern Finance

    Are We There Yet?

    by | Oct 10, 2011

    Obama: Are we there yet?Lately, I’ve become as fidgety as a small kid riding in a car bound for a place he’s never been.

    “Are we there yet?”

    The destination is the End of the Recession. Until we get ‘there,’ I am tumbled about in the backseat of an old roadster careening down a bumpy and pot-holed Recession Road. I am hanging on, bouncing up and down, praying that whomever is driving will sober up — and that we’ll get there in a hurry.

    “Are we there yet?”

    It seems like the economy – at least my own economy — has been in the doldrums since the dawn of man. Of course it hasn’t been nearly that long, but it sure feels that way, just like the wind-chill when one of those bitter Arctic cold fronts sashays through town. The pace of progress through the downturn has been glacial and with my luck it’ll be that way until two days after I’m dead.

    “Are we there yet?”

    ___________________________________

     I few days back,  I came across a newspaper article that floated the notion that we’ve already arrived — that the downturn is already over. According to the National Bureau of Economic Research (NBER), an economic policy group based in Cambridge, Massachusetts, “…the longest recession since World War II, lasted eighteen months and was officially over in June, 2009.”

    “Officially?!”

    “2009!”

    “Really!”

    One wonders to whom the people over at NBER were talking when they came up with this conclusion that the recession was DOA.

                                   ___________________________________

     Despite what the economists say or the government may subliminally try to whisper in my ear (Call me ‘paranoid’ but I’m sure they do this while we are all asleep), the slump “ain’t” nearly over. It can’t be.

    I know this because the after-effects of the crisis still dominate every aspect of my life.

    Daily life became very different after the onset of thin times. Many months later I am still doing for myself things that I used to pay or even tip people to do for me. An accuser might say, “Aha! He was an extravagant lout … a profligate spendthrift when times and money were thick. Serves him right!” Heck, I was just doing my part to make the economy go. Paying retail was jingoistic, the American Way and as patriotic as a Lee Greenwood song.

    But now, in the recession’s aftermath I buy at stores that insist I bring my own bags, sack my own stuff and pay for all of it with exact change.  It’s a wonder they don’t make me meet the transport ships at the docks, unload the stuff and then arrange the new stock on the store shelves — all so I can qualify for “…our LOW WAREHOUSE PRICES .” Reality smacks me in the head when I look at the ‘PRICE AS MARKED’ and realize the store’s owners must’ve surely meant ‘WHOREHOUSE PRICES’ because even after all that extra credit work, I’m still getting the screw.

    Another slice of life in the new altered state is that I’m buying all kinds of pre-owned implements (“used” is the more ‘down to Earth’ term –i.e. what the stuff really is) from cars to books to pick-axes. I’m also necessarily doing business — sight unseen– with Internet companies, who have a “Don’t Call Us, We’ll Call You” approach to customer service.  I also find myself constantly on the prowl for essential services whose advertisements brandish the words “FREE”, “CHEAP” or “NO CREDIT CHECK.”

    My choice of entertainment has become different as a result of the recession. I rarely attend major league baseball games or pro football games anymore. Nor do I indulge in surfing of the TV cable these days.  I got rid of it all long ago. ‘Contemplation’ is my current hobby. The reader will note that I’m not necessarily all that fond of reminiscence, going down Memory Lane or revisiting the scene of the crime. But the act of contemplation is free, requires no coupon, and doesn’t draw blood, produce sparks or smoke. All of these are good attributes in an era in which the price of good, clean fun —-not to speak of the better kind – is at an historical high.

    The recession is also the occasion of my loss of influence on the home front. Clark Howard, the radio and TV broadcaster and most notorious ‘saver’ in America has muzzled my once very influential voice at my domicile. Now, when it comes to the matter of household expenditures, Clark has much more sway with the management (as I refer to her when her back is turned) than I do even though I am still ‘looked to’ as the ultimate Source of All Funding. If that weren’t enough, the management has taken to wearing T-shirts that goad or beg the question: “WWCD? – What Would Clark Do?” and “Jesus Saves Souls and Clark Saves Wallets.”

    Even any Divine Guidance that I receive of late seems to have changed its tenor because of the economy. Last Sunday, the topic of Father O’Malley’s sermon over at St. Kennedy’s was “Thou Shall Not Covet Thy Neighbor’s Job!”  (Just between you and me, I’d wager – if I could afford it — that O’Malley has never once stood in one of those ridiculous, non-moving job fair lines.)

    __________________________________

     

    Hot Air Balloons on FireWith regard to the aforementioned problem of false pronouncements by various economists that ‘the recession is already over’, who knows what gets into people? Comedienne Lily Tomlin once offered that “…reality is just a collective hunch.”  I sometimes think that the various quasi-governmental authorities and bureaucrats subscribe to Tomlin’s theory as they try to convince the rest of us that our troubles are just in our heads. Often, I suspect, they are themselves are flummoxed in trying to come up with solutions to our societal problems. Exasperated and frustrated, they throw up not only their hands but also “…stuff against the wall” to see if and what will stick. Or they will send aloft, trial balloons to entice the rest of us to bite on some insane notion:  “O.K., O.K., the last idea didn’t work, but listen to this next one…”

    Methinks NBER — and very likely the government — is trying to pull one over on us with this ‘the recession is over’ thing. Nice try, NBER. Nice try government bureaucrats. But I’m not buying any of it. I know what I see and experience everyday. The recession still rages.

    __________________________________

     

    I suspect the recession will end someday. We’ll get there. Eventually. Until then, I’ll continue to go along for the ride… still tumbling in the backseat. I have but little choice in the matter. I am not complaining though. Well, not loudly anyway. By now, I count myself lucky that I am not being dragged along underneath the car.

    Of course, I’m still anxious about the whole thing.

     

    ©Copyright 2011 Will Cantrell

    ###
    Will Cantrell

    Will Cantrell

    Will Cantrell (a pseudonym) is a humorist, author, and speechwriter.  He is a graduate of Georgia Tech and a former banker. The legend is that at an early age he wandered South, got lost and, like most males, was loathe to ask anyone for directions. He was recently sighted somewhere close to I-285, still lost and saying that he was trying to “...write his way home.” Of course, there are a lot of people who suspect that “Cantrell ain't wrapped too tight” but hope that he keeps writing about his experiences as he finds his way back to the main highway.

    Will has recently completed a first book entitled "The Color Fuqua — a mostly true collection of modern tall tales." He is currently involved in writing a second book, "Nouns and Other Issues."

    Below, is what one recent editor said about him:

    Will Cantrell has issues...and ideas... and questions---big ones---- and they often keep him up at night. Cell phones, fast food restaurants, intrepid weathermen, egg yolks, volcanoes, color blindness, election polls, ketchup and “…the hell why doesn't Martha Stewart teach people something useful like how to make their own gasoline instead of how to make lemonade.”  These are just a few of the things that trouble him. He's also puzzled about why people talking loudly on cell phones ALWAYS manage to sit next to him on the bus … as well as everywhere else. Will’s got a host of other issues, too numerous to list here. And while all of this is unlucky for him, it’s fortunate for us because he writes about them all in that hilarious way that is only Cantrell’s.

    Lucky for us, Will's issues are the same ones that vex the rest of us too. And Cantrell “comes with solutions.” Be warned though, Will Cantrell does not think like you and me.  Through Will's quirky way of viewing the world, and everything in it, he's come up with different kinds of solutions for life's issues and problems. Or, as Cantrell says, he has  “…different problems for life's solutions.”

    Now that you've been warned, be prepared to be delighted as you follow Will Cantrell's romp through life and his search for answers to the questions that baffle, befuddle and puzzle us all.

     

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    • Jack deJarnette

      Are we there yet. Depends a lot on where there is. From my perspective, we are pretty much there, the cesspool, that is. A do nothing congress which leads to a want to, but can’t do president. My prediction is more of the same is coming and many more of us are going to be dragged under that car. …and believe it or not, I’m an optimist.

      Way to go Will.

      • http://bigboomtheory.blogspot.com Will Cantrell

        Thanks for writing Jack, but bite your tongue! Or as my Grandma would say “Hush yo mouth.” You mean things could actually get worse!? Will

    • Trevor Irvin

      Will, never trust anyone named NBER or Cheney.

      T

    • http://hannah.smith-family.com/ Monica Smith

      OK, you are right. It was announced today that since the end of the recession, average wages have decreased 6.7% whereas during the recession, they decreased 3.2%. The #occupy wall street crowd are also right. You see, Wall Street is populated by a bunch of obsessives, who just can’t get enough money. No matter how much the Treasury prints, they just claim it and pass it around amongst themselves, like so many Pharaohs holding on to Moses’ people. Which is why our message should be “LET OUR MONEY GO
      Senator Bernie Sanders, btw, has about six prescriptions for how that’s to be done. But, the bottom line, taking a cue from Alan Greenspan, who started this whole mess by liberating our equity in our houses and family farms in the early nineties, is to liberate our money from the Wall Street gnomes.
      For the religiously inclined, we might note that souls are to be saved, but money is to be spent.

    • Darby

      What would happen if all of the stories on the economy were written by the unemployed, underemployed, journalists and economists who have taken forced pay cuts and furloughs?

      • http://bigboomtheory.blogspot.com Will Cantrell

        Darby, just thinking about your premise gives me the “hee-bee-gee-bees’. You, of course, are aware that Economics is often referred to as the Dismal Science. It doesn’t take much imagination to understand why. All one has to do is to live through one of these recessions. Thanks for writing. Will

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