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    Southern Stalkers

    No, You Will Not

    by | 7, Add your Comment | Apr 24, 2011

    I received a rather nice email from the publishers of Like the Dew, asking about my silence these past few months. I replied “I’ve just been laying low of late due to the fact that I have a cyberstalking, death-wish-spewing psychopath who’s re-published and bastardized articles that I’ve written for the Dew (and others) while doing his utmost to destroy me personally and professionally. (Such is life in a world where the existing laws regarding such things are feeble at best and non-existent at worse: we are all at the mercy of any disgruntled fool with a keyboard and an internet connection).”

    Although I was kindly granted permission to submit an article about this issue under a pseudonym, I began to question my reasons for doing so. If I allow others to silence me then I become complicit in crimes against free speech.

    The aim of cyberbullies – either those who plague others openly or the cowards who do so anonymously (as is most frequently the case) – is to instill enough fear in the object of their “attentions” to muzzle them.

    Make no mistake: this kind of harassment can be as frightening and as real as being followed and watched in your neighborhood or in your home.” Former Vice President Al Gore

    From the 1999 U.S. Attorney General’s report on cyberstalking:

    The fact that cyberstalking does not involve physical contact may create the misperception that it is more benign than physical stalking. This is not necessarily true. As the Internet becomes an ever more integral part of our personal and professional lives, stalkers can take advantage of the ease of communications as well as increased access to personal information. In addition, the ease of use and non-confrontational, impersonal, and sometimes anonymous nature of Internet communications may remove disincentives to cyberstalking. Put another way, whereas a potential stalker may be unwilling or unable to confront a victim in person or on the telephone, he or she may have little hesitation sending harassing or threatening electronic communications to a victim. Finally, as with physical stalking, online harassment and threats may be a prelude to more serious behavior, including physical violence.”

    Back to my own personal cyberstalker. This is a man with whom I have never communicated – a man who knows me only through media reports of my community work (environmental issues and children’s advocacy). He is well known for his uncontrollable rage issues, verbal obscenity and online presence (via his own blog and a rather toxic social networking site).

    Here are just a very few of his hundreds of comments over the past two years “…choke on your eggnog and die, b***h!”, “…crazy, lying, leftist, Canut b***h” (we can only assume that he was trying for “Canuck”) and “In conclusion, f**k you, a**h**e. Die in agony then burn in hell!”.

    Oh yes, then there was the one that might interest Dew readers:

    “Alex writes for a variety of national and international publications. A relative newcomer to the United States, she co-founded her town’s first environmental organization (The St. Marys EarthKeepers, Inc.). In turns bemused, confused, entranced, frustrated and delighted, she enjoys unraveling the eternal enigma that is the Deep South.

    “Subscribe to my RSS Feed: http://likethedew.com/author/AlexK/feed/ Given that the nasty b***h has taken it upon herself to gratuitously ‘unravel’ us, Southern hospitality dictates that we return the favor.”

    I try very hard not to imagine what he’s insinuating with that pithy comment.

    Now let us examine the genesis of this man’s hatred and obsession (as far as anyone can tell based upon his cyber-poison). He seems particularly irked by the fact that I donated a gazebo in order to create a public park on land that the city council planned to (for no apparent reason) turn into a parking lot – cutting down 40 trees in the process. The area is now known as “The Memory Garden”; complete with a gazebo, flagpole and pathway comprised of bricks inscribed to community member’s loved ones. My bad.

    Oh, yeah…and that pesky curbside recycling program that was fought for and implemented by an environmental organization that I co-founded.

    But wait! My abhorrent behavior only gets worse – I am guilty of spearheading an effort to create a 2,200-book library for children to use during a free after-school program and a fund-raising drive to help the family of a 15 year old girl who is battling Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. These are, according to this man, insidious “commie, anti-American” activities.

    And then there is the fact that I sought and, after four grueling and costly years, attained dual Canadian-American citizenship. That enrages him no end. He has stated that I did so with the express purpose of undermining this nation. Uh huh.

    I only list these things because these are the damning issues upon which he builds his “case” and about which he, ad nauseum, flails, rails and rages. Sadly, there is no logic to be found in a diseased mind.

    And now here are the effects of cyberstalking in my particular case:

    My adult children live in Canada and they subscribe to Google Alerts. Each morning their alert for Alex Kearns leads them to this man’s foul rants (he has attracted two or three minions who publish similar noxious garbage about me). They read his “desiccated”, “Alinskyite”, “eco-loon” comments and are treated to vitriolic passages about his much-vaunted prowess with his handgun. They feel the psychopathic hatred that oozes from the screen and they are afraid for their mother’s safety. I don’t know what to tell them anymore.

    As a free-lance writer I live in the world of Google. Many clients do a simple web-search when hiring a writer and this man has rendered my web-presence toxic. (Thank goodness for my long-term clients and those who are savvy enough to recognize the insane ramblings of the mentally disturbed).

    I no longer travel about town in my golf cart with the peace of mind that I once reveled in here. My freedom has been sorely compromised. Friends and members of my two 501c3 boards have had their names and email addresses smeared through cyberspace due to their affiliation with me.

    He has mocked the article (first published on this site) about my sister and used her name as an alias on an online forum in an effort to torment me.

    But I am not alone in this – as evidenced by such sites as this one  National Center for Victims of Crime.

    We live in a world where, for the price of a computer and an internet connection, anyone can huddle by the light of the screen and wreak havoc upon others. Most law enforcement agencies are unprepared, uninformed or uncaring – and this must change.

    Throughout the past two years many people have said “Ignore him and he’ll go away. He feeds on attention.” Apparently they were wrong in the former assertion. He will not “go away.” Cyberstalkers reply upon the assumption that their victims will be so cowed and unnerved that they will remain silent. But for me – for any writer – that is not a viable option.

    So I will submit this article to the editors at the Dew and then await the inevitable fall-out. It will, no doubt, be re-printed on his blog or the aforementioned online forum complete with derisive, disgusting and bizarre comments and/or threats. The words that I have written here may be changed (as has been the case in the past) and the violent rhetoric will continue. I will, once again, be accused of being a part of the Dew’s “leftist community of anarchists and anti-Americans”…and the discordant beat of hatred and insanity will go on.

    For any of you out there who suffer from cyberstalking (and the Department of Justice estimates that number at hundreds of thousands) I can only sympathize with you. You will go through the stages – disbelief, anger, fear, denial, shock, rage, frustration and exhaustion – and then, I hope, you will refuse to be silenced.

    Words should not be allowed to be used as weapons to cow and threaten those who seek to simply state their opinion and I refuse to allow a deranged troll to rob me of my voice. Bring it on, little man. We know you for what you are.

    ###
    Alex Kearns

    Alex Kearns

    Alex writes for a variety of national and international publications. A relative newcomer to the United States, she co-founded her town's first environmental organization (The St. Marys EarthKeepers, Inc.). In turns bemused, confused, entranced, frustrated and delighted, she enjoys unravelling the eternal enigma that is the Deep South.

     

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    • Tom Poland

      I’m sorry to hear this. Had a run in with a bully myself recently, not virtual, but one on the street. I’ll deal with him and he’ll never know where the payback came from. Folks like this need a taste of their own medicine. I like the Old Testament’s solutions myself.

    • MonicaSmith

      Well, the brains of the instinct-driven are slightly deranged, but there is a logical explanation, I think. Their superficial optics lead them to form superficial impressions of whom or what they see and, on that basis they sense an attraction or a repulsion, for no reason that the object of their attention is or can be aware of. Attraction manifests as envy and an inclination to imitate the admired person or behavior. But, that admiration can quickly turn into jealous antagonism, if the impulse to imitate is frustrated, as it almost always is. Think of Cain slaying Abel because the latter’s offerings were more pleasing. Think of Ronald Reagan being shot by someone who wanted to impress a movie actress. Think of the song, You always hurt the one you love. It’s not uncommon behavior; it just always comes as a surprise because we assume we are responsible for how people respond to us. That’s a comforting thought. Random acts of aggression are scary.

      I think such people used to be identified as “borderline personalities”--a rather peculiar designation because their brains do not recognize the border between themselves and other people. I suspect they are often perceived as more intelligent and perceptive than they are because their habit is to imitate whomever they interact with and we’re all inclined to be impressed with people who agree with us. Their numbers are likely multitudinous.

    • Alex Kearns

      I see by his comments on St. Marys Topix that my erstwhile cyberstalker has read this article. His response? “You know, I started to respond that drama queen’s crap with a reply on that lefty rag. On second thought, it would be more effective if some of you who have also caught on to what she really is set that bunch of libs straight with a report to the readers on her TRUE natire.” (The spelling error is his).
      And that comment was followed by this “Monica Smith,” my ass, you lying drama queen.”

      • http://hannah.smith-family.com/ Monica Smith

        LOL!

    • Alex Kearns

      In the worst case words can be used to malign, wound, slander and destroy. At the best times they can illuminate, educate, motivate, allow us to experience the feelings of others and lead us to greater understanding. For several months there was a website (www.stmaryscitizen.com) that existed solely to “piss off and jerk around” (the site’s catch-phrase) members of my community. Due to untruths published on this site many people were angered and hurt.

      This morning there was a new blog post there which read in part “Earlier today one of us received a phone call to take a look at something that was written yesterday by a well-known local author. In this authors written words we read the hurt that they felt from some of the opinions we posted on our site. We also read what it had done to their adult children and the effect it had on them. The anger and frustrations the author felt is better understood when the human side is expressed as it was in their article. The words were articulate and the message felt.
      As I sit here on Easter night looking at pictures of my adult children and thinking about my wife and what a grand and loving mother she happens to be I tried to put myself in the shoes of the author. I imagined what it might be like for my adult children to read over and over again people’s opinions about me. Opinions that strongly disagree with my opinions.
      Those articulate and passionate words jumped out at me and touched my heart. I began to slowly understand what the author was trying to express in their words. I could see that the author’s hurt was real and the human side of this began to emerge. The human condition was revealed in those passionate and heartfelt words. Words do mean something and when pen is placed to paper those words can cut deep. That same pen can also be used to write words that lift and inspire. Inspirational opinions can either lift one or knock one-off their petard.
      So to those who felt we were unfair and our opinions to strong, we apologize. We humbly regret that some people felt so hurt by our opinions. It is our hope that this discourse can be lifted to a higher place that we all can learn from and grow from. Moving forward this site will soon be a memory. In the next few days we will take this site down permanently and move forward.”

      To the st.maryscitizen site’s administrator I say “Thank you.” JM (my deranged cyberstalker) read the comments above and had only this to say on a community forum “Her unparalleled ability to dupe people is what makes this woman so dangerous. Stay tuned. You will live to see the serious error you’ve just made by letting your emotions overrule your logic.”

      Again we learn that some people are capable of growth and change…are some are not.

    • Randi Cummins

      Bravo and very well written. Sound to me like the blog writers had a change of heart after reading your stirring and powerful words. Words can move people and many times that is why people become writers. What they wrote was also stirring and sounded genuine. People who felt so bad that you will probably not have any more problems with them. We all mistakes and it is good to see Alex that you are not a revengeful or person who holds a grudge. You must have a very big heart and love of people. Bravo to you. Sounds like it is time for everyone to move on.

      I just read some of the article on here that you wrote. I enjoyed them and thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and heart with us

    • http://www.alexkearns.com Alex Kearns

      http://www.topix.com/forum/city/st-marys-ga/T8JP02RN20SOL5DDU

      Today I chose not to publish a comment from someone who frequents an online community forum known as “Topix” (please read the comments on the link above). It is a cesspool of crudity and rumor and serves as a soap-box for the man that I discussed in this article.
      I anticipated the kind of childish and vitriolic backlash that you will see. (Moreno is the cyber-stalker that I described in “No, You Will Not” -- he also posts on Topix under a variety of names and I suspect that he started this thread).
      In my article I did state that I’d “never communicated” with him. To clarify that statement: when he began his inexplicable vendetta I did attempt to defend myself on his blog on several occasions in response to lies that he’d written there. (I’d never heard of him and only found out about his hate-campaign when I was informed by friends). I believe that I also (once) emailed him at the outset to inquire as to the genesis of his irrational fixation with me. When I realized that this was a man who I believe to be clinically psychotic, I gave up. I don’t view that as directly communicating with someone. I have never spoken to the man in person…and I have no wish to.
      I’m sorry that he has chosen to malign LTD, its readers and its writers.

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