Southern Wealth

You may not know of the dark conspiracy abroad in the land, from the mountains, to the prairies, to the oceans white with plastic and chemical foam. But surely you are feeling the consequences.

I have been to the heartland of America, I have talked to the Man in the street and the Woman in the supermarket. Brace yourself for a shock, for I will use some of the actual quotes that define the heart of the conspiracy as I tell you of it.

This is the gist: those who have worked to make their lives richer will have it all taken away to be given to someone “who has not worked but decided to download babies so they can get mo (sic) money, quit school, get on drugs, on & on ad nauseum.” You read correctly: the poor, disabled, uneducated and disenfranchised have organized to destroy our great nation and take the rightful earnings of everyone else. Those ingrates!

Credit: Margaret Bourke-White, Masters-of-Photography.com (Creative Commons)

Who knew? By (insert your god name here), I was gobsmacked! It’s devious, nefarious, and brilliant. That the one-fourth of the population with no real income, no reliable transportation, no jobs and in many cases no housing has been able to organize such an audacious conspiracy to defraud and defund the entire country is nothing short of – what’s the word? – incredible?

But I have heard from the reliable parties of the Tea variety that this is indeed the case. Read this aloud with me: “If the government would stop stealing from those who work to make their lives richer & giving it to these dumb (expletive deleted) then maybe they will stay in school, NOT download babies at the drop of a hat & then they can go to work for those fat cat companies & get some of their money to live on instead of taking it from those who DO work for those fat cat companies and support themselves.”

Here’s the zinger that really makes it clear that there is a conspiracy in the land: “American wealth belongs to those who MADE it, not some deadbeat who feel(s) he/she DESERVES it just because they were born. What did they do to earn it?” The logic here is searing. There’s no possible way to argue with this kind of precision thinking: people who expect to have a life just because they were born don’t deserve it unless they work for it. So dead obvious only a fool would disagree.

Forget for a moment that 12% of the populace control more than 70% of “American wealth”*. Forget that people do not become wealthy because they are equal in every way and compete on a level playing field. Forget that advantage and connection have any place in success. Then you can clearly see that Darwinism must prevail in American life (well, except in education, because we all know evolution is wrong, like all science).

Nonetheless, this small part of the American people we call “the poor” (and for more reasons than one, apparently) is fully involved in nothing short of a secret insurrection, traitors to the land that gave them every opportunity. My horror is hardly containable.

Downloading babies (didn’t see that feature on my cable, must just be for poor people). Choosing not to be employed and be on welfare by refusing to take any of the millions of jobs that are readily available. Driving up healthcare costs by not buying health insurance policies. If we really looked into it, they probably created 9/11 to further damage the economy, and you know they created the banking crisis by buying MacMansions they couldn’t really afford.

Hell, they deserve to be homeless. There’s probably not a single one of them who is educated, disabled, traumatized or even hungry. Furthermore, they’re probably growing plenty of nutritious food in those dumpsters and under those highway bridges. And have you seen the gardens at those homeless shelters? We need to take steps now to starve them out and exterminate them. Cut off their subsidies.

We all know people who aspire to be ignorant, live rough and have a poor diet. Why should we pay their way?

On an odd note no one could tell me: how soon after the “poor” are gone will the rest of us be better off financially?

*88% work for a share of 30%. That seems fair.

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Glenn Overman

Glenn Overman

Glenn Overman doesn't share much personal information not because he doesn't like or trust you personally, but because some of those people reading over your shoulder are just whacked. He's been everywhere, but he lives in NE FL and is fond of saying, "It's not the heat, it's the stupidity."