“The people who have been laid off and cannot find work are generally people with poor work habits and poor personalities. I say “generally” because there are exceptions. But in general, as I survey the ranks of those who are unemployed, I see people who have overbearing and unpleasant personalities and/or who do not know how to do a day’s work.”  – Ben Stein, The American Spectator

Guten Tag Ben!

It’s probably as big a surprise to you as it is to me that I’m writing, but I just had to give you a little shout out, or, as we said in my day, Sieg Heil!

Turning the tables on those unemployed bums and blaming them for their own plight was brilliant! (Although I must remind you that I perfected that technique!)

One job for every five people doesn’t mean the four out of work aren’t just lazy bums, and definitely not team players! We had the same problem back in my day! First we made sure no one would hire our little sub-humans then we blamed them for their laziness! Brilliant again!

The next step is to criminalize the victims and turn everyone against them, which is easier than it sounds (believe me, I know!) You’ve made some great contributions toward this already, Herr Stein!

If I might be so bold as to offer some suggestions based on our success in this field, how about a cute little symbol for their jackets? The yellow star was actually quite a fashion accessory and it sure made it easy for us to spot the bums.

Maybe you could have little green money symbols? Makes it easier to see who gets on the train. Speaking of trains, your transportation system is a wreck! We sure had some efficiency back in our day but don’t let that stop you. Your propaganda machine is the envy of the world and I’m sure you can build your class warfare into a great system of repression for these unemployed parasites. A little labor camp can get the work ethic in gear and your unemployment rates will be lower than ever!

Anyway, thanks a ton Ben! You’ve really helped redeem my reputation. By the way, do you mind friending me on facebook? I’m going for six million friends! HA HA! That’s just a joke Ben! No, seriously…..

Your BFF,

Joseph Goebbels

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Billy Howard

Billy Howard

Billy Howard is a commercial and documentary photographer with an emphasis on education and global health.