mothernaturewithearthYou are the greatest. You gave me life and everything I could possibly want. You nourished me and nurtured me. Showed me beauty, introduced me to awe and delight, and lit my imagination. You taught me the importance of family, friends, community, diversity and respect. You inspired me to be curious and solve mystery. You let me have my way even when it wasn’t good for me – and I know now how much it hurt you. You taught me about right and wrong and consequences. You have seen my tantrums and protected me from myself. You’ve seen me ignorant and unfeeling and enabled me to learn the lessons the hard way. You are wise. You are patient. You are beautiful. You are my muse. And I am so proud to be your child. Thank you. Happy Mother’s Day.

I hope you like the flowers. I know you prefer live to cut flowers, but, at least this time, I didn’t get you plastic. Imitation is the greatest compliment, you know. And, well, I was just trying to make them last longer. How was I to know they’d be forgotten, make their way to a stream, then to a river and make their way to the ocean and float around leaching toxic chemicals until birds would choke on them, die and end up in the stomach of a whale?

PS: I know it must look like I threw a wild and crazy party. Really sorry about the mess. Meant to clean up and get rid of the trash. The spills were just an accident. Didn’t mean to leave the heat running and the lights on. Or let your fish and plants die – some made it, didn’t they? And I don’t know who let the ice box melt. Or was smoking. Yes, there were a couple of fights and we broke some stuff. Just thought the place was bigger than it was. We let too many in, and it got out of hand. Plus, some didn’t get along so well with your pets. Just tell me the damage and I’ll pay for it or get my children to do so. Maybe it’s time I got my own place.

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Lee Leslie

Lee Leslie

I’m just a plateaued-out plain person with too much time on his hands fighting the never ending lingual battle with windmills for truth, justice and the American way or something like that. Here are some reader comments on my writing: “Enough with the cynicism. One doesn’t have to be Pollyanna to reject the sky is falling fatalism of Lee Leslie’s posts.” “You moron.” “Again, another example of your simple-minded, scare-mongering, label-baiting method of argumentation that supports the angry left’s position.” “Ah, Lee, you traffic in the most predictable, hackneyed leftist rhetoric that brought us to the current state of political leadership.” “You negative SOB! You destroyed all my hope, aspiration, desperation, even.” “Don’t you LIBERALS realize what this COMMIE is talking about is SOCIALISM?!?!?!” “Thank you for wonderful nasty artful toxic antidote to this stupidity in the name of individual rights.” “I trust you meant “bastard” in the truest father-less sense of the word.” “That’s the first time I ran out of breath just from reading!” “You helped me hold my head a little higher today.” “Makes me cry every time I read it.” “Thanks for the article. I needed something to make me laugh this mourning.” “If it weren’t so sad I would laugh.” "... the man who for fun and personal growth (not to mention rage assuagion) can skin a whale of bullshit and rack all the meat (and rot) in the larder replete with charts and graphs and a kindness..."“Amen, brother.”